For all you...

...football fans out there (that includes you, Aidan!), here's a little something that made me smile today. We're off to Brighton for a bit of sex, drugs and rock 'n roll, so have a good one (or a wet one) and don't do anything I wouldn't!

After that, I'm off to Milan on Monday & Tuesday and then Brussels again later in the week, so I'll try to stop by when I get the chance. Oh for a quiet life... that said, I've achieved the revenues that I need for my second year in business and it's only July - I'd be a bit of a prat if I complained about it. So I won't.

There's quite a lot that I could bore you with, but we're about to jump in the car... another time, then ;-)

(Oh, before I go... something here for all us bordering-on-suicidal parents!)

Musical Monday (a cross one)

Do things happen to you sometimes that force you to reconsider the way in which you regard yourself? I find myself in a very strange situation these days, and try as I might I’m feeling a growing desire to react in some way. Even though I know there really isn't any point.

What am I going on about? Well, the truth is that I’m a 47-year old man, who no doubt looks his age… in fact, most of the time I feel my age too (don't let those HNT photos fool you - I'm fairly handy with a camera!). And yet, here I am in love with a woman of 29 – a woman who probably looks at least 5 years younger than she is. In my own social circles, I’m accepted - indeed, by some, even admired - for who and what I am, and yet now I find myself the recipient of quizzical looks, as if there’s no earthly reason that anyone can fathom as to why I should be so “lucky”. As if I’m some kind of freak of fucking nature.

Well, as much as I generally don’t give a toss what other people think, there’s a distinct possibility that I’m going to get very cross with somebody soon. Yes, I know I should just laugh, but even so I’m only human. Bea thinks that I’m mad even thinking about it, mind you… then again, she's not the one getting the looks. At least, not those kinds of looks.

Musical Monday

Anyway, to Musical Monday. It seems ages since I played anything from The Greatest Band Of All Time (although I must admit that I couldn’t be arsed to check… if probably wasn’t). So here for your delectation is On The Turning Away, from the album A Momentary Lapse of Reason (god-al-bloody-mighty... was it really as long ago as 1987???). And yes – it’s the Floyd, of course.





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Just goes to show...

In not a great deal of time, we're all off on holiday - to Tenerife again, naturally, but this time there'll be four of us. And it got me thinking about last year to the point where I decided to have a quick recap of my returning from holiday post. And if I may, I'll quote...

And I was quite good in a relative sense, barely getting up to any mischief whatsoever. I did get a little bit tempted by one of the girls that worked in the bars at the hotel, mind you; her name is Beatriz, she’d been there last year (when we’d got on really well) and it was great to see her again. This time, she was even more tactile than I remembered, touching my hands, my arms, and my chest as we were talking (no lower, unfortunately). Then, one evening, she said something to me and stroked my face, and that point my resolve broke completely and I must admit I asked her out for dinner. Much to everyone’s surprise (including my own) she said yes, and we ended up having a fantastic meal in a seafood restaurant tucked away in a little fishing village overlooking the sea. Afterwards, she took me to a salsa bar to meet her sister, and then we drank, clubbed and chatted until about four in the morning. She's beautiful, intelligent, and funny, and has decided that she wants to pop over to London for a visit.

Oh, and she's 28. And Cuban. And the most fucking amazing dancer I’ve ever seen.

You have to laugh! To be honest, I'm not sure what it proves (if anything), other than the fact that you can't predict the future. Or, perhaps, a 47 year old Londoner and a 29 year old Cuban can have more in common than you'd imagine. But what it definitely illustrates is that the strange mystery of life doesn't become any clearer however old you might be getting, or might have gotten (!). You've got to love it, haven't you?

Care in the community

She's back - leaving silly comments on Haloscan and generally acting like the psycho that she is.

customer2274.pool1.Croydon-GLN2000-BAS0001.orangehomedsl.co.uk

IP Address 91.104.72.233

Country United Kingdom

Jackie, if you want to be properly named and shamed then carry on doing what you're doing - I really don't care.

I actually feel like a bit of a ramble, but I'm in a meeting all day today... maybe this evening. But it was nice to see a few old faces visiting, and it gave me a slightly warm feeling in my tummy :-)

Later, gator...

Lazy & Useless MM

Actually, I have to say that – whilst I might be useless – I’m definitely not lazy! Last week I was in Brussels for a series of meetings and presentations; this afternoon I fly to Milan for a few days (and with a bit of luck I should get to see something of the city as a couple of my meetings might have to be canceled!); and next week I’m off to Zurich for a three-day conference. In fact, I’ve not paid the exorbitant charge for the conference sessions themselves so I’ll be spending my time talking (I’m good at that), eating (I’m very good at that) and drinking (need I comment?).

A month ago, I’d have said that the workload that I’d given myself was impossible, but having worked my clean-shaven balls off (don't ask - it's Bea's decision... she likes them smooth) for the last three weekends on top of the 15 hour working weekdays of the last few weeks, all seems to be falling into place. Now, if I can get some projects booked for the end of the year and the beginning of next, I can probably say that this ridiculous idea of starting my own company has been something of a success. It just goes to show that having the courage of your convictions is no bad thing!

There’s more to life than working, though, and I have to say that – when Bea came over to live here a month and a half ago – neither of us could possibly have predicted how well things were going to go. She’s now working in one of the world’s top hotels that’s just a few miles away from the house, driving quite happily on the "wrong" side of the road, keeping my bed - and one or two other things - warm at night and looking forward to going on holiday to Tenerife for a couple of weeks soon. She’ll be able to see her family and friends again, and as she said to someone on the telephone last night, “I’m trying to think of something that isn’t perfect, but to be honest there isn’t anything”.

Musical Monday

I’m still determined to share my music with anyone who cares to listen, although I accept, of course, that the number of such people is slowly dwindling away as a consequence of my lack of time to visit, comment, and generally participate in the strange world that we call the Blogosphere.

This week, I was listening to something on the hi-fi at home as I was pottering around with the vacuum cleaner, and it happened to be Elvis Costello singing his greatest hits. And the choice of track was easy, because… well, it’s been a good year for the roses!

Happy Musical Monday!



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I know...

I'm terrible - I don't call, I don't write and I DON'T VISIT!! Everything's cool, I'm just really, really busy, so in order to post something - anything - I'm just going to give you... this!

It's very funny.

Really.

Musical Monday

Well, I guess I’ve been AWOL for a couple of weeks... I hadn’t intended to disappear but there’s just been too much going on to be able to spend time posting or reading (yes, that’s yet another apology). Not just with Bea being here, but with work too as I have two big projects on the go and not enough hours in the day. But it's good to be busy, and hopefully my year will be secure by the end of July and I can relax a little bit. And maybe take us all to Tenerife for a couple of weeks!

Work, though, has been pretty secondary in the scheme of things, as my beautiful Cuban has been... well, making her presence felt. Aside from her (what can only be described as) incredible physical demands, she’s coming up with a series of culinary delights in the kitchen as well as job hunting and taking a few lessons to acclimatise to driving on the wrong (right) side of the road. This is good, as last time she was here she managed to destroy a couple of the alloys on my baby, which I was not very pleased about. Not very pleased at all!

But - being serious - we seem to be getting along perfectly, albeit that there's a certain amount of adjustment required by both of us. For some reason, though, the age gap and cultural differences just don't seem to matter... they are there, but they're irrelevant. In fact, Bea seems to revel in the fact that I'm so much older than she is, and I'm sure finds something very sexy about it. And who am I to argue? And the good news is that we’ve only just (after about three weeks) had our first sort of very small mini-row, as a result of the fact that I just can’t understand her Spanish. Anyway, it’s not proper Spanish and I’ve got a terrible cold, so it obviously isn’t my fault at all. Fortunately all seemed to be resolved shortly afterwards, in the wake of Bea's three swift, powerful orgasms and a strong cup of Spanish coffee (its good to know that everything still functions nicely, even after yet another birthday!). If only everything in life were so simple, eh?
Yes, Musical Monday, the craze that's still trying desperately to sweep the blogosphere. And this week I’m going for something from a band I first heard in the late eighties when I inadvertently stumbled across a banned video from their album “Infected”. I immediately loved every track, and whilst I don’t know anyone else at all who listens to them I always take pleasure in supporting my friends’ musical education by popping the CD on the hi-fi and daring them not to like it. In fact, I had a real problem picking the track I wanted to feature, and even as I was hitting the publish button I could have changed my mind.

So, here are The The with Sweet Bird of Truth (and, believe me, it was a close call). Its one of those tracks that needs to be played loud, and right to the end. Tell me what you think...



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Change? What change?

Well, first of all – thank you for the comments on the last post. I would have responded to all of them (I know, I’m getting lazy, aren’t I?) but I’ve been a little preoccupied. I was pleased with the letter too, and no, I haven’t had a reply as yet. Mind you, the postal service to and from Mumbai is notoriously bad, and I had to send the letter c/o Anu’s address in any event. So we’ll see, and if I do get a response I’ll let you know.

Now, I suppose I should tell you what happened when I went to Tenerife to collect my, errrmm… package. There were some tears, but they were Mami’s and weren’t entirely unexpected, and we duly arrived back here on Tuesday evening. Poor Bea looked a bit like a rabbit caught in the headlights at first, but after some food and other physical requirements were addressed (!) she was fine. As I’m typing this – it’s about 7.30 in the morning – she’s keeping the bed warm, but I need to get the kids some breakfast and take them off to school. After that, it’s a visit to my solicitor to sort out some details relating to my divorce and by then it’ll be a little late to go back to bed, I imagine! Seems like a waste, doesn’t it?

I won’t pretend that we both feel like things are completely normal, because they actually feel slightly… well, different. But I guess that’s to be expected, and the hardest thing is going to be to just take a little time in sorting out all the things that need to be done (finding work, registering with a doctor and dentist, getting a National Insurance number, etc etc etc). I feel a huge sense of responsibility to get everything organised as quickly as possible, but at the same time I’m incredibly busy and have the children to take care of. And I want things to be seamless for them so that they don’t feel as if there’s been a huge change over here. I think that’s important.

So the adventure has started. Are we completely mad? Probably. Do we care? Not at all. Personally I think you have to take some chances in life, because anything worth having carries some degree of risk. And the main thing, above all else, is that my Spanish will come on a little quicker now!!! Hasta la vista, baby.

Remembering Anu

I hadn't intended to post today, but last night one or two things that occurred turned my thoughts to Anu, and I found myself reading various tributes to her (including the comments on my own post of December last year). And whilst doing so it occurred to me that I hadn't let anyone know whether their comments had been passed on to Anu's parents or not, and that it might be important to you... something for which I apologise.

Well, I did indeed write to them although it was something that I found quite hard to do, and I also wanted to wait a respectful amount of time... but fairly recently I sent the following letter. I attached all the comments that were left on my original post - although I removed any specific blog references, because I thought Anu's own thoughts should remain something between her and whoever she had made them known to before her death - and I hope that I managed to do justice to how we felt about a truly wonderful person.

You know, the tears still come sometimes, for someone I never met in person. That say's it all, I suspect.

Dear Mr and Mrs Xxx

Even though this letter is one that I’ve delayed writing for some time, I’d like to start by saying that it’s an honour to be finally sending it. An honour because in Anita (or Anu, as I knew her) you raised the most wonderful human being who ever crossed my path; for that reason, whilst you may consider this in some ways an intrusion, I felt that I had to write to you to express how I – and many others – were left touched forever by her spirit, and her beauty.

I should explain that she and I “met” through an on online community that writes and publishes journals or “Blogs” on the Internet (often, but not always, for others to read and comment on). To be honest, I can’t recall how Anu and I stumbled upon each other, but we developed a truly wonderful relationship. Not only did we communicate through the medium of blogging, but we wrote to each other often and - after a short while – spoke on the telephone; and it was such a pleasure actually hearing each other’s voices that we did so subsequently a number of times. In fact, we exchanged Birthday presents and other small gifts by post too, and I soon considered her to be a very special and close friend, and loved her very much.

I knew that I was going to write to you at some point, but really didn’t know how best to articulate what I and others felt about Anu’s sad passing. But then I realised that there was indeed a way in which I could show you the joy that she brought to so many of us… and so I posted an entry on my journal, and invited those that knew her to leave their comments in the knowledge that they would ultimately find their way to you.

And so, below, I’ve reproduced that journal entry, together with the comments left “in memorium”. Being strong regarding Anu is something that I find quite difficult at times, but the love expressed below is something that can only bring joy and wonder. I can’t imagine ever knowing anyone again who will have such a profoundly positive impact on everyone she touched. She was a brave, kind, and wonderful girl, and whilst I offer my condolences for your sad loss I must also thank you. You must both be so immensely proud of her.

Below is my journal entry (dated 19th December 2006) followed by the comments left by others. I’m sorry if they cause you any pain, but I know that they’ll also bring you much joy.

With love and best wishes,

Xxxx Xxxxx

And now I'm off to bring my Cuban home. Have a lovely weekend, all of you.

One small step for man...

What do you do with a blog when you’ve got time to post occasionally but your life’s so mental that despite the best of intentions getting around to leave comments is nigh-on impossible? Do you stay or do you go? (Okay, it’s a rhetorical question so no need to answer… but it really has been impossible). So, no Musical Monday this week – I was working until 1am – and just one last post before the weekend. This one.

And the truth is that this is quite an important post in the scheme of things. If you’re wondering why, I’ll tell you… it’s effectively my last as a single man. Single in the sense of living alone, because next time I do this Bea may very well be in the lounge… or making one of those gorgeous Spanish meals that she knows I love. I don’t think she’ll be looking over my shoulder, but you never know.

I’ve had quite some time to think about these developments in my life, most recently when I was sitting listening to some music during a work-break yesterday. And he thing is, I really Ido love my life right now; and I love living alone. It’s strange, but from the moment I split with my ex everything just seemed to fall into place. In fact, I can’t actually remember a single occasion when I’ve wished for company, or felt in any way that life was passing me by. And now – well, in a matter of days – all that is going to change.

The journey I’ve been on for the last three plus years has at times been an intense one. I’ve scrutinised and considered every element of who I am, and at times I’ve not been particularly happy with the result. But I’ve also grown as a person, and realised that I can cope with almost anything that life can throw at me. And, despite the fact that I’m comfortable with how things are right now, I know I’m ready for this next adventure. I have no idea how sustainable things will be, but I do know that Bea and I really love each other, and have an almost tangible connection that makes all the differences between us unimportant. Is this enough?

I think maybe it is.

Sorry...

Oh god... what an awful day. I've had BIG computer problems, thanks to Windows (fucking) Vista. I've barely been online for two days, and have had no chance at all to visit or comment. Sorry, I know it's rude of me ;-)

I feel like I want to throw my laptop off the roof. Or pull my hair out. Or punch someone in the mouth! But there is some news that isn't bad, fortunately... firstly, I'm typing this whilst looking at a rather funky 24" widescreen monitor! Honestly, it's like being at the movies. Oh, and a client who was giving me endless grief has come back with a job, and whilst it'll be a complete nightmare it'll secure my year for me, all being well. Three months of very hard work, but with two other projects on the go I should be able to keep Bea in the manner to which she'd like to become accustomed!

Speaking of Bea, she's now sold her car (bless) and is apparently looking forward to dinner with another one of her gay male friends tomorrow night (ha ha - of course, all her male friends are gay. She must think I was born yesterday). Luckily, I'm a trusting sort of guy without an ounce of jealousy in my entire body.

Grrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr!

Right, got to get on, and see what's wrong with this bloody computer.

(My god, it's another week closer... )

Musical Monday

My ex is in Las Vegas for her 40th at the moment, which means I have the kids for a week – until Thursday morning. It’s been lovely, because they’re off school and so don’t need to stick to their usual routine. Late nights and late mornings, and as I don’t sleep more than a few hours a night anyway it’s been kind of relaxing as the mornings are nice and chilled. Today we went to the movies AND I stayed awake throughout the film. RESULT!!!

The Date is getting closer, of course, and it’s becoming slightly all-consuming. I’m trying not to get nervous, but I’m not entirely sure that it’s working… but then I guess that’s understandable. And I’m so busy at the moment that the last week and a half of my present lifestyle is going to just slip past unnoticed. Maybe that’s the best way, though… no time to worry about anything, save for clearing out some drawers and wardrobe space (and that’s no easy task).

Well, it’s another late one this week but I’ve managed to squeeze it in whilst it’s still Monday. Better than last week, then… my penultimate Musical Monday as a “single” man. And I realised today that I’ve been quite remiss in that I’ve never featured a track from The Smiths. They’re a band that people seem to either “get” or… well, not get (and if they’re new to you they’re worth a bit of perseverance.)

I’m putting matters right this week, with one of my favourite tracks – That Joke Isn’t Funny Any More. My advice? Play it loud, and listen to the end. Then play it again, and wallow in it a little. After that, go check out Amazon.

By the way, it was touch and go whether my track was going to be Bigmouth Strikes Again instead. Maybe next time…



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What if...

I went to Rochester, in Kent today. I was with my brother and the kids, and we were going to pick up a car that he’d bid for on eBay. It was a Fiat Coupé 2.0 Turbo (I’ve owned one myself, and they’re like bullets) and he’d foolishly left a £200 deposit on it and then found it wasn’t in the condition that he’d been led to assume by the listing description. Suffice it to say that there was almost a fight in the street (I even took off my sunglasses in readiness) and on the way home Dan said to me “What if…” because I’d talked him out of buying the car he originally wanted.

Anyway, I started thinking, and concluded that our lives are shaped by the choices we make, almost unthinkingly, but that have so many repercussions for us afterwards. I mean, what if…

I hadn’t checked the strange mobile I found that night in my ex-wife’s jacket pocket – just to see if there were any messages on it. And yes, there were messages – they just weren’t the kind of messages I wanted to hear…

Or I hadn’t written a silly little note to Bea when I was on holiday with the kids, because she’d stroked my face when she was talking to me at the bar one night. I thought I was acting like an idiot even as I sealed the envelope and wrote her name across the front…

Or I hadn’t been such a fool during my first marriage, because my behaviour didn’t give the relationship much chance of survival. I doubt we’d have stayed together, but what twists and turns would our lives had taken…

I could go on. So many instances where choices were made without any inkling of the consequent impact. We try to plan ahead, but the truth is that none of us can… not really. And maybe that’s what makes everything that happens to us along the way manageable, somehow… because we don’t know what’s around the corner. Good or bad, things never stay the same for long.

I sometimes think that the choices we make go some way to defining who we are. Not because of what we did at the time, but because of what we learnt by doing it. And as someone or other said once, “To err is human, to forgive Divine". Or something along those lines.

Musical Monday Tuesday

Well, you may have noticed that I’ve been AWOL for a few days (then again, you may not have noticed). Actually, I’ve been continuing my whistle-stop tour of Europe, seeing but not seeing some of its finest cities. This time it was Brussels... up at 4am, home again for early evening... although I must admit that I was so knackered that I just fell asleep in front of the TV after dinner. C’est la vie, as they say (in, errrmm, France).

All this loitering at airports is beginning to get on my nerves, but it’s paying the bills. And I need all the cash I can get because if all goes according to plan I’ll have a little surprise waiting for Bea when she gets here (shhhh... don’t say anything but I’m hoping its going to have four wheels and an Alfa Romeo badge. I said SHHHHHH!)

I had a Spanish lesson this morning, and because I’m tired and have loads of things on my mind, I was complete crap. Cristina didn’t seem to mind, because she spent the lesson laughing so much that she wasn’t listening anyway. I’m not sure what set her off – it might have been when I kept saying (in Spanish) that Bea’s hair is blonde (she kept telling me I’d got it wrong) or when she asked again how old she is. All I had to say was “veintenueve” and she was almost on the floor again. I think I’m going to ask for a rebate :-)

Anyway, it was Musical Monday until not that long ago, and as its my game I’m going to cheat and post a Musical Tuesday this week. I was wondering what to offer you all, but then had a bit of an epiphany as I drove past a local underground station. So today it’s Faithless, and “Flowerstand Man”. (They're a bit like whelk stalls, but you can still see one or two if you look hard enough.) Oh, and that was a good call, J... Dido's brother Rollo is indeed one of the band, and that was her singing. She was a guest vocalist on Reverence, which was Faithless' debut album.



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Change

Last night, I was tired. I’d spent most of the afternoon struggling to come to terms with a new laptop that came with the Windows Vista OS pre-installed (don't go there - trust me), and I’d been up since 6.30am finishing off a report that had to be with a client before the end of the day. Oh, and my job in Russia was put on hold, probably indefinitely, which has cost me a small fortune. All in all then, I was fed up and had the beginnings of a thumping headache... it was one of those days.

At around 10ish in the evening, I made a coffee, logged on to MSN and there she was... within seconds I could see her beautiful smile, and within minutes the troubles of the day were a distant memory. And that’s how it’s been since the summer – when we’re not with each other, we’re in communication in some way. Life now, in my own mind, always includes Bea, whatever I’m thinking about.

And its this that I've been thinking about lately, because if one thing has surprised me above all else since I’ve been single it’s that... I LOVE my time alone. I can’t remember a single moment in the last 3 ½ years when I’ve felt lonely, or in need of company. Is that unusual? To be honest, I have no idea, but I do know that those precious moments of solitude will soon be much, much harder to find. My space, and my life, are going to be shared with someone else again.

Talking to Bea lately, she’s clearly feeling the pressure now, and who can blame her? A new country and challenges she can only imagine await her, and her parents will suddenly be a four hour plane journey away. And this guy from London – will he change when the circumstances are different? Can he sustain the kind of love and attention of the last 9 months? All these things and more will be spinning round in her mind, but I really don’t think she can begin to understand what this means for me, too. And yet, I’m not fazed by it... more just aware of the impending changes. It’s what I want, even if – to be completely honest – I can’t quite believe its happening.

Yet.

Musical Monday

Unless you're the arsehole this is intended for, skip this bit and read the post below:

Okay, I've warned you to stop leaving abusive messages, so here's what I'm going to do. Each time I get another message/comment from you that I don't like, I'm going to reinstate one of the items that I'd previously removed. I won't mention what I'm doing, I'll just do it. And - if you really piss me off - I'll reinstate them all and then make the blog private so that you can't even access it again (then I'll really have some fun).

Don't say you haven't been warned.


It’s been a funny few days. My back is better, fortunately, and I’m exercising again every day (let me know if you want pictures – oh no, you’ve already seen them!) but I don’t feel as fit as I want to be. I reckon I have about 7 pounds to lose within the next month in order to get a semblance of a six-pack showing, and I’m determined. Well, I’m motivated, that’s for sure. Because the countdown has well and truly started, if you know what I mean.

Today, though, was something of a disappointment. I had a new laptop delivered to the office, and although it’s a blinding spec the bloody thing wouldn’t boot up. I was mortified, and after going through a few diagnostics whilst on the telephone it’s now going to be exchanged as it appears to have a faulty hard drive. How fucking frustrating is that?

Aside from that, and one or two work-related disappointments, it’s just been a very, very busy week or two. I feel a bit guilty for not visiting anyone much of late,. But I’ll try to get around later this evening. In the meantime, here’s a little Musical Monday treat for you. So, about Susheela Raman, in her own words...

“I was born in London in 1973 to South Indian parents. My family moved to Australia when I was very young and were eager to keep our Tamil culture alive. I grew up singing South Indian classical music and began giving recitals at an early age. As a teenager I branched out into more blues-based music, which demanded quite different voice techniques. The question then was how to bring these streams together. In 1995 I went to India to study with Shruti Sadolikar, one of the greatest living Hindustani vocalists. This was a challenging experience as I had to let go of what I thought I knew and find a new, more insightful approach to my craft...

... Salt Rain was recorded between October and December 2000. We were lucky to collaborate with some unique musicians who live mostly in London and Paris but are of diverse origins: Guinea Bissau, Cameroon, India, Romania, France, Greece, Egypt, Kenya, America, and Spain. Any record is a meeting of many minds and, now more than ever, it is networks of people, not just individuals, who spark new and exciting work. Everyone brought their own special energy to the music and I am very proud of what we all worked together to create.”

Actually, I’m not surprised that she’s proud. It’s a great piece of work, and the track I’ve chosen is called Kamakshi. Again, in her words, “Kamakshi is another song to a divine enchantress, ‘she whose eyes hold the power of attraction’. The beautiful musical scale of this song could almost be Near Eastern... Everyone present in the studio was momentarily stunned into silence by it….and then we all clapped!”



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Hell...

Well, I've survived yet another long commute - this time to Dublin and back in a day - and now I'm nursing a sore back and looking forward to the weekend. My laptop is such a beast that it's almost impossible to regard it as a mobile computer. After much thought, and with the pain in my lower back inching down my bum cheek and onto my leg, I've bought a rather funky little 12" alternative, and now all I have to do is fight the demon that is... Windows Vista. It never rains...

Anyway, to cheer me and everyone else up I thought I'd post something that I received by email today. I've seen it before, actually, but it always makes me smile.

HELL EXPLAINED BY CHEMISTRY STUDENT

The following is an actual question given on a University chemistry mid-term paper. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well!

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant. One student, however, wrote the following:

First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time. So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving.

As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell.

With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially. Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.

This gives two possibilities:

1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose.
2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.

So which is it?

If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my first year that "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over.

The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

This student was the only recipient of an A-grade!

Musical Monday

It’s not that long since I decided to reopen this blog. I’ve posted, commented when I can... generally I’ve tried to pick up where I left off when everything got a bit too much to manage comfortably.

But you know, it isn’t the same. Every day I look at my comments, and I know with a sinking heart that she isn’t going to be there. She wasn't there to tell me how beautiful that house in Italy was, or to laugh with me at the guy at the Comedy Barn. She didn't tell me how thrilled she was that Bea's actually coming here, to live with me and the children.

It hurts, and it feels like it just isn’t going to go away... and even if I try to push my feelings to one side it makes no difference. Every time I think of her I can feel tears waiting to fall down my cheeks.

So this one’s for you, Anu, because I miss you.

Leonard Cohen
Hey, That's No Way To Say Goodbye



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Crazy times

They really are. The times, I mean... so much happening at once, and with everything on my mind at the moment it's not surprising that sleep is proving hard to come by.

So... we now have a date for The Arrival. Not too long to go but still a little while to get fully used to the idea and clear some wardrobe space. And - this year - I'll be celebrating my Birthday as part of a couple again. The kind that live together, and that love each other - it's been a while since that happened and it seems like it's worth looking forward to.

I'm trying to get my head around the whole thing at the moment, but with me here and Bea a four hour flight away it still lacks a certain reality. The enormity of what we're doing isn't lost on me, though, and I'm aware that this a life-changing decision. For both of us, of course.

Anyway, this week has been slightly manic, in part because I had to fly off to Italy for a couple of days on some client business. In theory at least, I was in Milan and Rome but with meetings planned throughout I ended up seeing nothing of one and very little of the other. I'll have to go back, but the highlight of the trip was undoubtedly the olive tree-filled estate just outside Rome where we spent Thursday night and part of Friday. To say that it was beautiful would fail to do it justice, as you'll see from the photos below. The Italians - at least the men - are mad though, so intent on macho posturing that reality just seems to escape them (sorry Nukie... I'm sure that you're the exception!). I think it's going to be an interesting project!

Ciao...

I want...

To brighten your day :-)



Update: Sorry - just got back from Milan and Rome on business. I'll try to catch up, just give me time...