Change

Last night, I was tired. I’d spent most of the afternoon struggling to come to terms with a new laptop that came with the Windows Vista OS pre-installed (don't go there - trust me), and I’d been up since 6.30am finishing off a report that had to be with a client before the end of the day. Oh, and my job in Russia was put on hold, probably indefinitely, which has cost me a small fortune. All in all then, I was fed up and had the beginnings of a thumping headache... it was one of those days.

At around 10ish in the evening, I made a coffee, logged on to MSN and there she was... within seconds I could see her beautiful smile, and within minutes the troubles of the day were a distant memory. And that’s how it’s been since the summer – when we’re not with each other, we’re in communication in some way. Life now, in my own mind, always includes Bea, whatever I’m thinking about.

And its this that I've been thinking about lately, because if one thing has surprised me above all else since I’ve been single it’s that... I LOVE my time alone. I can’t remember a single moment in the last 3 ½ years when I’ve felt lonely, or in need of company. Is that unusual? To be honest, I have no idea, but I do know that those precious moments of solitude will soon be much, much harder to find. My space, and my life, are going to be shared with someone else again.

Talking to Bea lately, she’s clearly feeling the pressure now, and who can blame her? A new country and challenges she can only imagine await her, and her parents will suddenly be a four hour plane journey away. And this guy from London – will he change when the circumstances are different? Can he sustain the kind of love and attention of the last 9 months? All these things and more will be spinning round in her mind, but I really don’t think she can begin to understand what this means for me, too. And yet, I’m not fazed by it... more just aware of the impending changes. It’s what I want, even if – to be completely honest – I can’t quite believe its happening.

Yet.