Anyway, she seems to have found out that I'm meeting Beatriz in Tenerife - no doubt one of the kids mentioned it, because it's not exactly a secret - and she sent me a text yesterday referring to "the illegal immigrant", which incidentally is nonsensical as (although Beatriz is Cuban) she has Spanish residency. She was also suggesting that I'll now want to "push the divorce through". I must admit I thought this was all pretty weird... but rather than get involved in an argument I replied, albeit slightly sarcastically, with "Well, you never know" thinking that would be the end of it. A minute later I got another message, and when I read it I realised that this was a woman with whom I'll never establish any kind of friendship again, let alone hold any respect for her. It simply said
"Well hurry along, you old fool."
What... fucking malice. I have no idea whether that little gem came from her or the piece of crap that she broke up our family for, but I do know that it makes me feel physically sick to think that we were ever married. And that I could have been with someone for so long that was so completely different to me in terms of her principles, and her values, and her treatment of other people. How does that happen... did I get it totally wrong, or has she just changed so much?
To be honest, it's put me in a really bad mood... I don't often feel like I have this anger bubbling away inside, but right now I can't deny that I do. Am I being stupid, and oversensitive? Maybe I am... but that's how it is, and sometimes you can't just rationalise things away - you just have to feel them. And even though I know this is a kind of negative energy, I'm just going to have to let it run its course, and hope that in the interim NO-ONE PISSES ME OFF!
Well, when the going gets tough I always think it's time to play some music... it's a bit like chicken soup! And whilst I can't remember how I discovered Bonnie Raitt, I do know that this woman has the most gorgeous voice. She sings, plays guitar and writes her own songs and music, and has no less than nine Grammy's to her name... so I guess she must be doing something right, then.
This track is maybe a little mainstream compared to my usual taste, but it can tug at the heartstrings if you're in a susceptible mood (don't say you haven't been warned). And I suspect we've all felt what she's feeling at some time or another... I mean love isn't exactly risk-free, now, is it (unfortunately)?
Anyway, this is "I can't Make You Love Me", from the album Luck of the Draw. I was just amazed, incidentally, when I checked the release date, which was 15 years ago. God help me... maybe I am an old fool after all :-)
Want to play? Just stick this in your sidebar or on your post, but change ALL the brackets to the pointy ones first:
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