Random thoughts

For one reason or another, yesterday I was looking at a few posts from the end of last year/beginning of this. Then I went back to the more recent ones, and I realised that things have become a little... fluffy around here. Posts about decorating (I mean, come on...) and the usual ruckus around Thursday every week – I’m not sure that I’m happy with the situation. So I’m going to have a rethink. And actually, I suspect that I’ll continue with HNT until I hit number 50 in a few weeks and then retire gracefully. We’ll see.

Anyway, I was wondering what was “different” about my life now to then, and I concluded that the main source of angst has been pretty much removed. By which I mean, the whole dating/women/relationship thing that was the fuel for a lot of the emotional trauma I wrote about has taken something of a back seat since I got back from Tenerife, and it seems to me that once you take “relationships” out of the equation life becomes... well, easier. Smoother. I think that’s quite interesting, though, and just goes to prove certain things (I’ve got no idea what they are, mind you, but I'm sure it proves them anyway. Yes?).

So... my sister came round last night, ostensibly because things in her life have settled down a bit and she’s no longer trying to stay invisible to the world at large. Or that’s what she thought until we started talking, because she had her head buried so far in the sand that I’m surprised it hadn’t come out in China. She and her husband have got some thinking to do – the most serious thinking they’ve ever done, actually. They’ve got themselves knee-deep in shit, and there doesn’t seem to be much of a way out at the moment. Not from where I’m sitting, anyway. As we talked I also realised how self-absorbed she’s become. You know when people are listening to you, but only so that the nanosecond you’ve finished talking they can jump back in with what they want to say – about themselves – because they think that everything's about them? And nothing else can be as important... we were really close once, when we were younger. It was a nice evening, but that closeness isn't there any more.

Well, so be it. But I think I have to acknowledge that I have a family that hasn’t quite got the hang of taking care of itself, and I can’t spend the rest of my life taking care of them. Sooner or later, everyone has to grow up and take some responsibility... because that’s what changes when we become “adults”, isn’t it? We have to do that, whether we want to or not.

Right... time to get the sproglets their breakfast. I’m sorry that I’ve been a very sporadic visitor of late, but the decorating saga has finally come to an end (no – no more photos!) and life has settled down again for now. So get the kettle on, I’ll be over soon.

And last, but by no mean least... Happy Birthday, Anu x