Wednesday, October 24, 2007


I was on my own in the lounge with Sam on Sunday afternoon, watching yet another debacle for English sport as Lewis Hamilton’s gearbox problems cost him about 12 places in the field during the course of the Brazilian Grand Prix and – ultimately – the F1 World Championship. Anyway, for some reason my eyes were drawn to the new and unused 3-wick candle (still wrapped in cellophane) that’s sitting on the hearth in front of the fireplace.

“Sam, why has my new candle got a big dent in the side and a piece missing?” I enquired.

“I don’t know” he replied. “That’s weird, though.”

Then, on Monday, I was in the kitchen with Bea. “WDKY, what’s happened to that lovely ornament that was on the mantelpiece in the lounge? The one Sue bought…” she asked (sorry Zooz – it was that one!). In a flash, the mystery of the dented candle was solved and all became clear.

“Hah!!!” I cried. “I told him about that bloody football…”

I called Sam at his Mum’s house. “Now listen carefully, Sam” I began, “You have one opportunity to answer these questions truthfully, and only one. I'm pretty sure that I already know the answers, so be very, very careful. Okay?”

“Errr… okay Dad…”

“Okay... 1. When did you break the ornament in the lounge? 2. Were you playing football? And 3. Where have you hidden it?”

“Don’t be cross with me, Dad…”


“I broke it yesterday – the ball came off the wall at a funny angle.”


“I hid it under my wardrobe. Sorry, Dad.”

“What have I told you about playing football in the lounge, Sam?”

“You said I’d end up breaking something.”

“And what am I going to say now?”

“No more football in the house, Dad.”

It’s good to have such a telepathic understanding with your children, don’t you think?!?

As an aside, Sam played his first ever competitive match on Sunday morning (other than for the school team) when he turned out for S* A***** Rangers Under 11's. Like any good kid who realised that his father was almost overcome with pride would do, he scored in the first few minutes with a cheeky volley from a corner that he skillfully sent over his shoulder and into the goal.

His team went on to lose.


Photos courtesy of Olivia...

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