Saturday, December 03, 2005

It's madness

It’s not easy, getting through the day on less than three hours sleep. The party, as it turned out, was excellent… notable for the fact that I told Dick’s wife in a moment of drunken honesty that he “was okay when he was pissed, but I couldn’t bear working with him”. Hmmm… probably not a good idea in retrospect. He actually revealed, believe it or not, that the two of them spend evenings at home watching a DVD of a fake log fire on their plasma TV. They also have another DVD of tropical fish swimming in fish tanks, complete with gurgling noises. Hey, it sounds wild over at Dick’s place, doesn’t it?

There was one blindingly beautiful girl at the party who was with one of the guys in my team. She was small and blond, and was wearing the sexiest little silky dress thing. Her name was Emma, she was from up North, and we talked for most of the night without even realising it. And strangely, most of the conversation was about masturbation, female sexuality, the desire for control in a relationship, male and female attitudes towards homosexuality, and various other subjects equally strange for two people who had literally just met. When I decided enough was enough at about 2.30 in the morning and said I was going to bed, she gave me a kiss and whispered the loveliest thing in my ear, leaving me – not for the first time – rueing the vagaries of timing. Because, in other circumstances… well, I just have a funny feeling about her.

Now, all this would have been fine if I wasn’t yet again besieged by text messages, and last night I actually got 23 in the space of 2 hours. In the end, I had to switch my phone to “silent” but in a way the damage had already been done as it kind of put me on edge. I’ve wanted to give you a glimpse of the telephone hell that I’m going through at the moment, and having thought long and hard about it I don’t feel that I’m being disrespectful in doing so. I mean, I’ve described so much in intimate detail already… well, here they are. All 23, in the order they were sent.

  1. we are the same
  2. you are still making love to me
  3. there are many things you haven’t explored
  4. do you feel my breast in my hand
  5. do you feel my desire
  6. I want to see your smile again
  7. my skin is burning
  8. you are strong
  9. do you like me less now
  10. I like you more
  11. do you realise we have never argued
  12. have you ever been mad at me
  13. I have never been mad at you
  14. four months tomorrow
  15. I’ve put your music away
  16. it was worth meeting you…
  17. worth the pain
  18. no-one so undemanding as me
  19. the first day you picked me up at the station…
  20. did you say you were not afraid of my sexuality
  21. you should…
  22. you might have finished it but I haven’t
  23. I felt like crying all day

It’s fucking madness. Tomorrow, though, it gets sorted once and for all.


yoursecret said...

# 18 is HILARIOUS at this juncture.

E-E said...

Sigh. This girl is sad, sad, sad.

And yes, I am lookkig forward to hearing how you handle this entire thing, because, well, no. 1, I know you are a true gentleman, and, no.2, having been on the recieving end of a few painful breakups... well... it's almost like seeing a train wreck happen and not being able to look away.
Weird, huh?
Well. Good luck!

Blondie said...

Ah T...

Emma sounds delightfully interesting. Who knows...

*shaking head again*

How wearisome. I am ever so sorry that any memory that could have been had... is now forever tainted. :-(

I should fly to London for New Years! ;-)


fjl said...

Oh, my, God. Worse than a wheelbarrow I would say. :0) I think you should change your number. Right glad you met a lovely chick who's restoring your faith in womankind...;-) What I do notice though is that GG's not vicious or angry, just deluded and soppy beyond all reason. I think a change of number would do the trick. I had to do that in September, a lover I finished with sent me endless texts, then a text saying ' it's important that you-- my -- , and ----- my -----.' which really, really disgusted and annoyed me, as in fact I had always refused to do so, as he was Not a man I could love. I was completely disgusted and changed all my numbers and it was goodbye at last. :-)

Mine is a Gin said...

It's good copy but do yourself a favour and cut all contact. The guy who filled up my answer machine with dozens of messages 3/4 years ago contacted me last night with an Instant Message saying "talking to you is like talking to the crayfish in the river in (substitute town where I live)". It's all fucking mad

K.D. Morgan said...

As adults, we don't have to put up with nonsense. So, in short, don't.

kimmyk said...

shit, i'm speechless.

a bad situation just got worse that's all i know.

WDKY said...

Yoursecret, there's more than a touch of pathos here, don't you think?

EE, one thing I value is manners. I can't tell you why I do, I just do. I actually kind of like being a gentleman, even if it is a bit old-fashioned these days.

Ruthie - Emma was bloody gorgeous, bloody sexy, and bloody unavailable.

FJL, funnily enough I've just bought a new mobile with a different number, and I start using it in about three weeks (when I issue my press releases). But to be honest, she really isn't a vicious or angry person, I think she's just hurting at the moment.

MAG.. yes, it has to stop. It really does.

KD, I won't. And you blog won't accept comments... I wanted to post one. Badly.

Kimmy, you can say that again!!

K.D. Morgan said...

Thanks for letting me know. I just tried it and whatever problem was there seems to be resolved.

unforgiving b*tch said...

I'm beginning to wonder something about you....

What is it that you do so well that makes a girl go all crazy like this?

Hmm...I wonder if I want to find out. ;-)

Jamy said...

GG has been setting off alarm bells with me for a while. Please be very careful dealing with her. Her behavior is (verging on) stalking. It's good of you to be willing to hear her out, but she is abusing your good will. As soon as you are satisfied that you've heard her out, I hope you will cut off all contact. If she thinks her constant texts (and calls) will get your attention, she will not stop.

I hope I'm overeacting, but if this were an ex-boyfriend of mine, I would be scared.

WDKY said...

UB, it's not, of course, for me to say. Anyway, I've always been a deluded fool, so I'm an unreliable witness.

Jamy, I appreciate what you say. I'm not intimidated, just a little fed up. I'm able to be intimidating myself when necessary, though!

dan_in_brighton said...

Disrespect her? She lost all respect after sending you 23 messages. Someone tell her to move on and get a life, although on this showing, who would want to be part of it?

WDKY said...

Hey bro!!! (Yes, I know your views on this subject. Can't say I disagree, either.)

NewYorkMoments said...

Oh my God...I LOVE what you said to Dick's wife, That's classic.

Ummmm....That whole GG think is craziness. She's just humiliating herself.

WDKY said...

NYM, I knew you'd appreciate it! Yes, GG has kind of lost the plot. I'll be emailing her soon, and then - hopefully - it will stop for good.

fjl said...

She just needs a good wheelbarrow then, for being daft. I'm relieved to hear it. The texts are a little shocking, re the extent of the delusion.
In the Old East End they used to put defendants in wheelbarrows every Tuesday, if there was insufficient transport. Love it, hilarious. Didn't stop people committing socalled offenses though, or being daft :0) xx

ap said...

Good lord. She's barking. Not to mention in the grip of a major obsession. I suggest a firm but kind email in the first instance, followed by a firm and not so kind email if it carries on. Good luck.

WDKY said...

Precisely what I have in mind, AP, and thanks.

Blueprincesa said...

I had a feeling there would be a pretty one there. I feel sorry for GG-- she is going to have a rough time of it if she honestly believes that she is dealing with this whole thing in the best possible way. That's not your fault though. At least you won't be having any doubts about whether or not breaking it off with her was the right thing! Good luck.


check said...

20 and 21..!
i think she's lost it W.. she's hurting for sure, but this just isn't the way..
what are you gonna say to her??!!
going a little off now.. all gals like old fashioned gentlemanly guys.. at least thats what i think..
aaand, what was the 'loveliest thing' that was whispered in your ear? don't leave out details like that!

NML said...

The woman is very clearly on crack! I feel like going round there and giving her a piece of my mind. It's women like her that give us a bad name! As for Dick, that is so funny watching that stuff on the plasma. I bet he's a real animal in bed...
Sort out that woman, or I'll do it for you ;-)

WDKY said...

Thank you, Blue. And you're right, all I feel now is relief!

Check - I've answered your question in my next post. Never say that I don't look after you :-)

NML, you're so funny darling. As for Dick... ggrrrrr ;-)

Networkchic said...

If I didn't already think GG was a it of a loon...I'd say she's quite the poet. It's strange how one can be a poet and madly insane at the same time. Ah, the sacrifice of the creative. :-)