What a strange mood I’ve been in… I can’t quite explain it, but it’s as if the world has been going on around me for the last couple of days, and I haven’t been fully… engaged. Maybe I’ve had a bit of a bug, maybe it’s just the whole GG thing, I don’t really know, to be honest.
I feel like I’m about to reach another watershed in my life. The work situation is a part of it, but really it just symbolises a decision making process that’s been going on for some time. A need to escape the conformity of what I was doing, surrounded by men in grey suits, files stacked up on their desks, thinking nothing of working 18 hour days to further the corporate aim. I have this need to be an individual in a world where too many people want to be anonymous.
More than that, though, I’ve taken the opportunity to re-evaluate my principles, and the things that are important to me. This is nothing new, but the last email I received from GG was a kind of polite character assassination… a knife hidden beneath the folds of a silk scarf, and as she carefully dissected me I hardly felt the blade cut my skin. It was that sharp. Looking back, this is an occasion – unlike some from the depths of my past – when I feel that I acted properly and have absolutely nothing to feel uncomfortable or guilty about. I’m not prepared to take someone else’s problems and make them my own. Life is tough enough without that crap.
Anyway, I think I’m going to enjoy the weekend… the kids are sleeping in my bed, I’ve just had an email from BR confirming our arrangements for tomorrow, and on Sunday I’m going to escape to the fantasy world of Narnia with a bag of popcorn and maybe some cheese nachos. And I’ll catch up on all those blogs I enjoy so much. I’m just going to have a... “normal” weekend.
Wish me luck.