Saturday, December 10, 2005

Re-engagement

What a strange mood I’ve been in… I can’t quite explain it, but it’s as if the world has been going on around me for the last couple of days, and I haven’t been fully… engaged. Maybe I’ve had a bit of a bug, maybe it’s just the whole GG thing, I don’t really know, to be honest.

I feel like I’m about to reach another watershed in my life. The work situation is a part of it, but really it just symbolises a decision making process that’s been going on for some time. A need to escape the conformity of what I was doing, surrounded by men in grey suits, files stacked up on their desks, thinking nothing of working 18 hour days to further the corporate aim. I have this need to be an individual in a world where too many people want to be anonymous.

More than that, though, I’ve taken the opportunity to re-evaluate my principles, and the things that are important to me. This is nothing new, but the last email I received from GG was a kind of polite character assassination… a knife hidden beneath the folds of a silk scarf, and as she carefully dissected me I hardly felt the blade cut my skin. It was that sharp. Looking back, this is an occasion – unlike some from the depths of my past – when I feel that I acted properly and have absolutely nothing to feel uncomfortable or guilty about. I’m not prepared to take someone else’s problems and make them my own. Life is tough enough without that crap.

Anyway, I think I’m going to enjoy the weekend… the kids are sleeping in my bed, I’ve just had an email from BR confirming our arrangements for tomorrow, and on Sunday I’m going to escape to the fantasy world of Narnia with a bag of popcorn and maybe some cheese nachos. And I’ll catch up on all those blogs I enjoy so much. I’m just going to have a... “normal” weekend.

Wish me luck.

22 comments:

unforgiving b*tch said...

wishing you a great normal weekend...

I'm trying to have one myself.

Caterpillar said...

I wish you luck and more, you deserve only the best. Enjoy your children, enjoy Narnia, and remember how special you are - and even those of us who don't personally (unfortunately for me) know you can see that!

Blueprincesa said...

GOod luck! I've got a little cathing up to do myself.

Networkchic said...

It's hard when someone cuts you when you have only shown them kindness. I think people do that because it's a 'cut or be cut' sort of mentality. I truly believe some people must tear you down to build themselves back up. It's sad really, but the world is full of fools like that.

I hope you can lose yourself (if only for a day) in the fantasy world of a movie. We all need an escape sometimes.

check said...

you know what T, i thought that GG was being mean... i dont know why she did it, i dont analyse things like this, but the email was out of line. i tend to react in a very childish way to such stuff, would've given her a good piece of my mind.. but then again, you're not that kinda guy. if u havnt done anything wrong, who the hell gives her the right to say hurtful stuff?? anyways, i guess as long as your conscience is clear, theres nothing that you should feel bad about.
delete that email, from your inbox, and your mind. i realise though, easier said than done.
hope you have a great weekend, wishing you lots of luck, with BR and evrything else too.

WDKY said...

Thanks UB - I'll keep my fingers crossed for both of us!

Cat - you're an absolute doll. Thank you.

Blue, I'll meet you at the other end. Good luck!

NWC... you've articulated it precisely. I'm not averse to doin one last thin for her, though.

Check, you're an amazing woman for someone so, so... (you know what I'm thinking, don't you?)

FJL said...

Alas women are good at being sharp. But it's not her place to give you any critique, so take it as inherantly untrue.

Mine is a Gin said...

It is tough being on the receiving end of a character assassination, even when you know the accusations are wrong. It makes you reassess the way you think others perceive you, but surely the friends who view you positively are in the majority. Take care & have a good weekend x

kimmyk said...

I love it when my kids sleep in bed with me....even if I only get a small piece of the bed and I can't sleep cause I don't even have enough room to turn over....that's ok though...I know their close by.

I'm off to see Narnia today-I won't tell ya how it is....but I'm hoping it's as great as I remember.

It's sad that GG said things that hurt you..but remember people who "lash out" most of the time it's done out of hurt and not anger or trying to hurt the other person. She's probably crushed (as any woman would be who lost a person they cared deeply for) she'll get over it..and so will you.

Have a great weekend !

WDKY said...

FJL, thnaks - I do agree with you, but I found myself wondering...

Thanks Ginnie, and you have a nice one too x

Kimmy, I do understand her motives. I could easily have retaliated, but chose not to. Enjoy Narnia, btw!

check said...

yup, and thanks.. it means a lot.. esp comin from u..

Blondie said...

I'm a bit saddened by GG. I do hope you have a great weekend. There is nothing more comfy than having my boy in the middle of the blankets and totally lost to the world and safe in my arms. I'm a sap, I know.
I'm hoping to see Narnia this weekend but I still need to find a sitter for the "sprog", he doesn't do movies too well anymore.
Good luck on the date with BR!!

K.D. Morgan said...

Good luck and have a wonderful weekend though you've already done the best thing you could - re-engaged *smiles*

J's Girlfriend said...

Narnia... how nice! I have to wait till I meet up with my fantasy fiction friend, we've seen all the LoTR films together so I don't feel like I can let him down.

I know I probably would know if I combed your archive, but what are you going to do for a living / what were you doing so far?

WDKY said...

Ruthie, thanks. Report imminent ;-)

KD, I've done something, granted (and thanks). But there are other things I'd like to do.

J'sG - I'm starting up a management consultancy. I've done it before, but for the last couple of years I've been with a construction company. Not recommended.

Sher said...

I do remember telling you that GG was not the one for you..what I didn't say is that she'd be a psychotic nitwit.

You can not take one thing she said to heart. Not one.

From the little I know of you I have always come away with the thought that you are a very smart man with tremendous amounts of integrity (a persons writing can expose that you know) and character.

All her blade did was expose her.

Have a wonderful weekend.

J's Girlfriend said...

Construction, eh? I'll see your construction and raise you a stint with an estate agent... My full sympathy, though.

ladylongfellow said...

Luck!

I think GG said those things just to even the score with you and make you hurt -most women are like that, at least in my opinion. With that said, you know you shouldn't listen to a thing she said because of it.

WDKY said...

Sher - you were right all along. I kind of knew you were, and I really appreciate what you just said...

J'sG - I'll pass your Estate Agent :-)

By the way, I don't walk around with my bum showing - I had/have a kind of consultancy role. Mind you, I've fitted a complete kitchen myself and have a fine array or power tools.

WDKY said...

LL - thanks. I may post a word or two about this later.

NML said...

I hope you had a lovely weekend and GG is behaving disgracefully. You did the right thing.

miss goLondon said...

how did your date go? mine was beyond interesting. not often that i am arm candy, but, fun for a story. i am sure yours had more substance, and was fun too!
as for this GG chick, mentally deranged females disection knives are phantom, not real. don't let her transpose her issues!