Okay, I realise that I haven’t provided any kind of update on the night of the sleepover. It’s scandalous, and I’m ashamed of myself for taking so long to write today’s post. Work, two children, a cat and two amazing games of football on the television are hardly an excuse, I realise that. So… let’s see…
I cooked a pretty fab dinner if I say so myself… roast lamb, potatoes, cauliflower cheese, a green salad, and apple pie with extra thick cream for dessert (make’s me wonder why the fuck I’m single, actually!). We got through a couple of bottles of wine in rapid succession, and opened a third as we sat down in the lounge, slightly the worse for wear but pretty chilled and enjoying catching up. (I would have rolled a spliff at this point, if the rat bags who burgled my house hadn’t gone off with my hand carved antique wooden stash box that I bought in Prague!) Anyway, at some point she wandered into the kitchen for a glass of water, and came back holding a box containing a very strange battery operated shoe polisher that someone bought me in an “Everything for a Pound” shop in Brighton. “What on earth’s this”, she asked as she walked back into the room. I gave her the obvious answer (!) to which she replied “Have you ever tried… you know. Using it on something other than shoes?” (I know… where do I find them?)
To cut a long story short, we spent the next half an hour testing the different brushes on various parts of each other’s anatomy. Of course, we started on the wrists, the back of the neck, even the soles of the feet (the fluffy brushes were particularly nice) and then - gradually - got a bit more daring. Now, bearing in mind that we were more than a little inebriated, it would have taken an iron will, an incredible sense of responsibility, and a man who knows he’s got a hot date on Saturday to eventually lead her up the stairs and deposit her, as planned, in O’s room for the night. And to stay in his own bed, depsite the fact that just a couple of yards separated two hot, pulsing and rather polished bodies. But I’m happy to say, that’s precisely what I did. I even ran her a bath in the morning and refrained from getting in with her. Sometimes, I surprise myself… not often, but sometimes.
Now, tell me honestly… are you disappointed?