I love that expression… so seventies, isn’t it? “Man, I’m in the groove.” Yesterday, I spent half the day preparing for a presentation to one of the world’s truly mighty corporates, and the second half delivering it. I was with a colleague who had won the opportunity to pitch, and if we win the job he’ll be using me as his resource in the UK. To say it’s a big opportunity would be something of an understatement, and after a couple of hours of intense grilling we left their offices and stopped in Soho for a coffee.
“Fuck me”, he said. “I think my hands are shaking”. I laughed, because he’s clearly lived a sheltered life.
“Listen, if you think that was tough you’ve clearly lived a sheltered life” I replied, not surprisingly.
I realise that I haven’t mentioned sex (shhhhhh...) for an inordinate amount of time. I’d hate you to think that this was because I have nothing to say on the subject. Tonight, I’m having one of my nicest friends for dinner. In more ways than one, as it happens… we have a very honest relationship, and whilst we see each other only sporadically, we really enjoy each other’s company. And each other’s bodies… hers is particularly exquisite, and I’ve decided that I’m going to have her both for hors’ deuvres and dessert. I may even have her as my entrée too. Let’s just forget dinner in the traditional sense. To say I can’t wait wouldn’t quite convey the sense of urgency that I feel.
For some reason, I also find myself sexually fixating on a friend of mine who also happens to be the mother of two of my children’s friends, and – more worryingly – one of my ex-wife’s closest confidantes. Now, I’ve found her attractive for a long time, but for some inexplicable reason I left a message on her voicemail a day or two ago in which I started off with the best of intentions but then found myself describing what listening to her voice had done to me in a physiological sense. I also had a dream about her last night that was so intense, and so life-like, it was almost as good as the real thing. We’ve been flirting with each other continuously for ages now, and I think I’m going to have to stop, before I do something really silly. Really silly.