Monday, September 12, 2005

Sex.. seriously casual.

Little Scottish Girl emailed me a few months ago from a dating site I was on for a while, and we seemed to get on pretty well online and when we spoke. Well enough that we decided to meet for a nibble in Crouch End in north London to check out that old chemistry thang and see if we reckoned there was some potential for seeing each other “properly”. In fact, it was fine in a lot of ways… conversation flowed, there was enough eye contact to hint at something more to come, and I even let her go home with one of my favourite CD’s that I happened to have in the car at the time (check out Nirvana Lounge… very cool compilation along the lines of the Buddha Bar stuff). We met a few times after that but I realised with increasing horror that I didn’t fancy her, which for me is a major requirement if sex is going to be on the agenda at some stage. Anyway, by then if it hadn’t happened it wasn’t going to!

I really do have quite a lot of stuff going on in my life at the moment (and did then), what with constant showdowns with my f*ckwit of an MD at work, trying to sort out my old consultancy so I can re-launch it sooner rather than later (with an appropriate fanfare and press interest), and some ex crap. By which I mean crap from my ex. So I wasn’t really feeling over-enamoured with the prospect of getting involved with someone just for the sake of it. I ended up telling her that I wasn’t dating – not exactly smart considering we’d been… well, dating – and that it was probably best if we just accepted that and stayed friends. I know it was an absolute crock, and so did LSG, but we kind of got used to our newly-defined relationship and saw each other now and again. Drinks, cycling, stuff like that. I thought the situation was under control, which is always a bad sign. As soon as you think you’ve got things sorted they come straight back and bite you on the nose. And that’s if you’re lucky.

So, a few weeks ago she started phoning me to discuss why precisely I wasn’t dating, when I might be ready to date, and if I was whether there was anyone else I’d rather date than her. Eeek! Being a sensitive soul I really didn’t want to say to her that, actually, I’d love to be dating but…, and so I kind of skirted round the issue a little. I also went on holiday around then, to Tenerife, and got a couple of really strange photos sent to my phone. Of LSG’s naked bottom with the words “I LOVE **** *****” tattooed across the cheeks in henna. Weird stuff indeed. Anyway, when I got home I decided to take the bull by the horns, so to speak, after she suggested that we get together for a bite and a chat. We did, and after a pretty decent meal ended up popping back to mine for a spliff (I don’t smoke much, and NEVER alone, but always have a little grass stashed away for when I have company!). So we smoked, listened to some music, and around the time I was going to tackle the subject head on she lay on top of me on the sofa and started kissing me. And wouldn’t stop.

Now, it’s true I could have thrown her to the floor and told her to leave, but she was also rubbing my crotch in a not too unpleasant way, so all the while I was telling her that this was a really BAD idea, what she was feeling through my jeans was telling her otherwise. And I was stoned by then too, which wasn’t helping matters at all. Eventually, she successfully wrestled with my belt, and soon enough she was giving me a rather skilled BJ whilst I was breathlessly telling her that I was NOT going to date her, whether we slept with each other or not. And we did – in fact, we f*cked once on the floor, and twice more in bed, by which time it was beginning to get light and it was clear I was going to be going to work on about 2 hours sleep. If I was lucky.

Where’s this leading? Well, casual sex (don’t you hate that expression?) is fine when it’s exclusive. By which I mean, I’m happy to be "seeing" someone on the basis that it’s JUST sex if they are too. And if neither party is conducting a similar non-relationship with anyone else at the time. Now, though, GG is on the scene and on my mind, and LSG seems to want a replay. I’m going to have to explain the situation to her, which brings me to the point of this post in a kind of roundabout way… I have a feeling it’s less casual for LSG than it is for me, and I’ve allowed the whole thing to become more complicated that it needed to be. I should have just told her in the first place that I didn’t want to “see” her. As if I didn’t know that anyway!

On a more positive note, GG gets back from Barcelona on Wednesday, and she sent me another lovely email yesterday in her faltering English… “As for our next meeting, maybe we should start the evening in the reverse planned order. You better sleep well this week and have a lot of energy for me!” Mmmmm…


Sher said...

Hmm is right. Don't make excuses now, stoned or not you knew the score. Now you'll have to figure your way out of it and I suspect little Miss floor romp will not make it pleasant or easy.

Good luck!


WDKY said...

I know, Sher, and I make no excuses other than that I was completely up front about where it was going, or rather not going, from the start.

Thanks for the comment, btw, it's still rather exciting as a newbie to realise I'm not the only one who reads this stuff :-)

NewYorkMoments said...

OK, good stuff. Morke like this please.

On another note...You guys have to learn to be "men," and be honest how you feel. Nothing worse than being strung along. It's just not nice. (end of tongue lashing)

WDKY said...

Yes, we do, and I was. I was a man in being open about not dating, and I was being a man in responding to the needs of my erection.

We can't win ;-)