It always seems to be the way… that, for some unknown reason, a set of circumstances will transpire to occur together, or a number of unrelated events will suddenly all fall into place and get you thinking that there is such a thing as divine intervention after all. Coincidence, or fate?
Well, to a lesser extent, I was only recently reading another lovely post from KD about what (for me, at least) is an almost constant conflict between heart and head, between instinct and reason. My life has certainly been interesting, but whether anyone would – with the benefit of hindsight – say that I’ve always acted rationally is another matter. But I’ll always be a person who responds to feelings… it’s the way I want to be, and I’m quite prepared to suffer whatever consequences come my way. It’s important to be true to yourself.
So, an email from C arrived early this morning, in response to mine sent just before I went to bed last night. I wasn’t pushy, and I didn’t ask anything particularly profound. I just wanted to know where we stood, and whether there was any kind of parity between what we were feeling for, or about, each other. Well, it seems that I should have paid more heed to what I knew all along, if I’m honest… try as you might, you can’t go back. There was a moment, all those months ago, when something special happened. But through accident or design it was only a moment. A snapshot in time, since which so much has happened and so much has changed. And what she wants to do now is to apply reason to something that I want to be instinctive. To be careful, to be measured… to follow her head. What I wanted was to follow my heart.
I’ll let her know how I feel later this evening, and then retreat to momentarily lick my wounds. There are some good things to come out of today, though… the Boss suit looked wicked, and my new keyboard got fitted to my laptop. Oh, and I think I’m in with a shout for the project I’m after. All in all, then, not such a bad day. And hey, if relationships were easy there’d be fuck all to blog about.