Wednesday, April 26, 2006

More ramblings of a lunatic

As I sit and start to type this post, it’s 4.12 in the morning and, although I can see quite some distance in either direction from the office window, there are no other signs of life. It’s ridiculous, isn’t it? I should be in bed, asleep, but for some reason I’m restless (and, anyway, I’ve been dreaming a little too vividly during what sleep I did manage tonight).

Late night/early morning is a strange time for me, and one that I’m all too familiar with. I keep fairly nocturnal hours, especially these days when the necessity to be up at sparrow fart to attend a meeting about a meeting that somebody else has seen fit to enter into my electronic diary is no longer an issue. But the ability to determine one’s own destiny comes at a cost, and just at this moment that cost is peace of mind. So many things to think about, but no doubt all of them will take the same course whether I worry about them or not. I guess there’s no point worrying, then...

Yesterday evening I did something that’s very rare for me, and actually met another blogger who has been intriguing me with her writing for quite a while now. Holly proved herself to be exceptionally beautiful, and gifted with an intelligence that goes way beyond anything achievable through text books and academic study. We met in the rather funky Electric Brasserie in Notting Hill, and I think I’ll just say thank you for what turned out to be a really lovely time – good food, great conversation and fantastic company. Although the journey home, thanks to a sense of direction that can only be described as embarrassing - well, pathetic would also do nicely - was successfully completed more through luck than any kind of judgement on my part. I really have to invest in a decent Sat Nav system, because one day I’ll simply disappear from sight, destined to drive the streets of London on some never-ending quest to find home.

Anyway, it got me thinking (not unusually, I know) about life, love and everything. Not just because Holly is so gorgeous (okay, I’ll stop now) but also because I’m thinking a lot about being single at the moment, and what the alternatives to that state might actually be. I really have come to realise that it would be difficult for me to describe just what a relationship would look like any more, and it’s slightly disconcerting to arrive at that conclusion. And whilst I know just what advice I’d give someone else if we were having this conversation, somehow it doesn’t always seem particularly easy to follow that advice myself.

And then there’s Thursday-which-has-been-moved-to-Saturday, and a date with someone who really does seem rather nice. We talk every day on the telephone, and I think we’re both feeling that we just want the weekend to arrive as quickly as possible. And, whilst I seem unable to speak to her without an immediate physiological response that can only spell trouble, I do have a degree of optimism for some reason. We seem to be on the same wavelength, and hey – she’s a personal trainer. She can lick me into shape if anyone can, of that I have no doubt (ahem).

Right – it’s now some 30 minutes later than it was when I started this nonsense, so I’m going to post this and quickly surf the net for a photo of the Electric. Then it’s back to bed, because I suddenly feel like a couple of hours more sleep is beckoning. And that’s not something to turn your nose up at. Not at this time in the morning, even if the birds have just started their dawn chorus. Night night.

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