Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Under my nose

I’m writing this before going out tonight. I’m going bowling actually, and whilst I don’t bowl often these days I used to be pretty useful (although I could never get real spin on the ball like I wanted to). Now, this is good for two reasons; firstly, because I’ll probably get asked if I need sorting out at some point during the evening, and secondly because it’ll take my mind off other things that have been occupying my thoughts for the last day or so.

The first reason I’ve been distracted is Dina. The more I think about it, in fact, the more pissed off I become. It’s not that I’m going to go back on the decision I made, more that I’m not enjoying the consequences of that decision. If I was going to give some advice to myself right now, it would be along the lines of "get over it". So I guess that’s what I’m going to have to do. Still...

The second reason I’m not quite myself is that I’ve been thinking about the woman who – referring back to a post that I can’t quite be arsed to find right now – I see now and then when the two of us are uninvolved (and I totally blame Jed for this state of affairs). The thing is, we really like each other, and we have brilliant sex. And yet I’ve been avoiding her since we last spent the night together (pre-PTFE) because she did something that she hadn’t done before. She mentioned... ahem... the "R" word.

So today, much as I haven’t wanted to, I’ve been mulling over things. "Wood" and "trees" figured strongly in this process. And I’ve been asking myself what, precisely, it is that I think I’m looking for. Because maybe it’s been right under my nose all along.

In more ways than one.

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