It's in the touch

Okay… to quickly answer a comment from Lee Ann a couple of days ago about my voice… you can hear it if you want to. Although it’s a little embarrassing. It’s here, actually.

Kimmyk also mentioned that I always seem to be “with” somebody, so I thought I’d just mention that – in the 2½ years I’ve been single again - I spent 8 months seeing a rather gorgeous red-headed girl, and then, some time later, 4 months with GG. That leaves about 18 months when I’ve just indulged in some light hearted dating or, in fact, have been very much on my own.

Red had a body to die for. When she undressed, she’d stand at the edge of the bed and then turn her back to me, bending down as she lowered her panties to the floor so I could look longingly at her perfect little arse. She was sexy, but mad. Probably as mad as GG, and I don’t think I need to clarify that any further, do I?

So, CFG and I have been out again. It’s strange, because instead of the indifference I’ve felt for a while, my heart beats more quickly when I think about her. When we don’t speak, I want to hear her voice. Neither of us can sleep, and whilst our verbal communication has to take account of her… Frenchness, there’s no lack of communication. It’s in the eyes, and in the touch.

Last night, she'd arranged for her son to be "somewhere else", and after dinner we walked back to her apartment with a kind of mounting expectation. But as I kissed her I could feel her shaking... she was terrified. And I told her it wasn't going to happen yet... although, I must admit, I was more than ready. I've decided that we're going to wait for a while.

I have no idea what all of this means, but time will tell. My problem is that I’m in love with the concept of love itself, so I have to watch myself. It’s a dangerous business.