Friday, November 25, 2005

A day for closing doors

Well, this is my last post before the change of URL, so it’s probably fitting that I should be thanking you for the comments on achieving some kind of blog milestone in reaching 10,000 hits. I really can’t quite believe that this thing is still going strong, and that the momentum to post pretty much every day is still there. It’s been quite a strange experience for me, and one that’s seen me reveal some fairly intimate details of my life and loves. The truth is, of course, that like an iceberg most of who I am is still below the surface. No doubt some of it will stay there, but I am thinking about how much of my rather complex life should make its way to the pages of this blog. I guess time will tell.

The situation with regard to GG has pretty much come to a conclusion, and I must admit that I’m carrying a certain sadness with me at the moment. She managed to make a connection with me that few have before, but in other ways I knew from the beginning that it wasn’t quite right. And my response when I realise this is to never quite give enough… maybe that’s the way we all respond. I guess its just human nature.

Today, the postman knocked at my door, and when I opened it I could see that he was carrying a package with my name on it. Inside was a rather strange assortment of things… one sock that had been lost after on overnight stay at GG’s flat in London; one fairly cheap but refillable lighter, acquired in Frankfurt last year and left on her lounge table one time or another; some Chorizo sausages brought back from her trip to Spain a couple of weeks ago; and a rather delicious looking Spanish sweet in a wooden box sealed with wax.

With it was a letter…
My dearest WDKY

I had a couple of things for you from Spain…please accept them in anticipation of Christmas, as it seems that you and I are now not going to meet…

I hope all your wishes come true, whatever they may be, and that your life and dreams will be fulfilled. No matter what, I will only have good feelings towards you and I truly wish you’ll find happiness in all possible ways. Knowing you happy, will make me happy.

All my love,
GGx
The sadness I mentioned earlier is very real, and when I think about her, I realise that I could almost have loved her. And some of the things she’s written have touched my heart. Now, it’s time to put this behind me, but I do so whilst making just a small wish for GG’s happiness too. Well, not such a small wish, actually.

18 comments:

Blondie said...

I have to wholeheardtedly agree about being an iceberg when it comes to my blog. I share some very raw moments but there are so many more layers to the depth of me.

It made me cry a bit to read about GG. Such small momentos to be packaged with a letter like that. I think you both are very special people.

xx

Caterpillar said...

I'm a bit sad for you as well about GG, as I know how hard it is to end things with someone special to you. But I truly believe that you have many good things coming to you, and you're so special that you will definitely find true love!!f

Miss you!

K.D. Morgan said...

Sending you good thoughts and peaceful moments.

E-E said...

Sigh. What an amazing thing, this life, this thing called love, isn't it?
We are all somehow searching deep in our souls for someone, *something* to fill in all of the gaps that our heart leaves open when torn. And, ultimately, it is so poignant when we realize that wishing nothing but the best for the one we cannot have... is all that's left to do.
I feel for her, I really do. I have been in her shoes.
And, I feel for you, my friend, for I imagine your heart feels the same way too, and I can sense it through the airwaves.
I have found that I am wishing nothing but the best for people I don't even know now -- my blog buddies like you.
And isn't that amazing? The human spirit is amazing.
And it's obvious that the blog following you have is well-deserved, W.
Keep all doors slightly ajar, btw.
I believe it's better that way.
Best,
Em.

NewYorkMoments said...

On to new pastures WDKY!

Change of URL, change of chicks...

Change is good.

kimmyk said...

i was feelin quite sad for both you and Miss GG after reading her letter and receiving that poor lonely lil sock...then I read NYM's comment-man...that girl cracks me up. She just moves along and doesn't look back. Too bad we all don't have a little bit of NYM in us huh???

Sher said...

I know you feel a wee bit sad, but there's no time like the present to make sure things are set for the next lovely.

Now, from what I've read (from 10 things every single man must own)

Number 5 on the list is:

5. Nice underwear
When it comes to your love life, the last thing you want is for your underwear to be a mood-killer, and trust me, the following selections will make her recoil: Tighty whities; underwear featuring cartoon characters, or anything that resembles what a woman would wear. (Bikini briefs? Heaven help you.) Even silk boxers, no matter how nice, can send a sleazy vibe, so stick with something basic, like Calvin Klein cotton boxers or boxer briefs. Splurge on at least two weeks' worth and throw out the others, lest you’re tempted to don a ratty pair and put off doing laundry—you never know when opportunity will strike.

Now, I just want to make sure that you have this part covered.

Go out this weekend and buy yourself some new undies. I always feel better after buying some new panties...

We can't risk sending you out into the dating world again with the wrong kind of ball huggers.

Now then, chin up and always look at the bright side of life...

XoXo

Sher said...

Also- this should make you smile
(I'll email the link)


How Much Is My Blog Worth?
Your blog, anthony1960.blogspot.com/, is worth $24,275.22

Woo Hoo!

Zoozan said...

I'm with nym - onward and upward,


and I'm sure you won't let the grass grow under your feet

Blueprincesa said...

It's funny, the things we share and the things we don't. A little bittersweet, a gift like that, isn't it?

WDKY said...

Ruthie... sorry, didn't mean to make you cry :-(

Cat - thank you. I hope so!

KD, thanks...

EE, slightly ajar? maybe, and thanks for a thoughtful comment.

NYM - yes, I think you're probably right at the end of the day!

Sher - I always where Kalvin boxers, both styles. I'll get some more just to be sure :-)

Kimmy - it sure is. I'm just... sensitive. I can't help it.

Sher - bloody hell. Where's the link for Google ads?

Zooz, you're no doubt right. As it happens... ;-)

Blue, life is bittersweet. Don't you think?

J's Girlfriend said...

*sniff*! The pain behind that note is tangible. Once I left all my exes stuff from my place in a gray paper bag in his sofa for him to find when he returned from his holiday. Glad to see she's a kinder person than I was.

Blondie said...

*confessing*

I once broke up with a boyfriend when he was overseas in the military.

There I admitted it!!

BTW, welcome to your new blog.

check said...

i feel so sad for u both wdky... that must've been tough to receive and send,im sure... kinda like a final goodbye or something... but time to move on i guess..

WDKY said...

J's G... you don't seem so tough to me :-)

Ruthie - I'm shocked (and thanks)!

Check, time to move on indeed. It's not been an enjoyable expereince, though :-(

Annalis said...

Hi WDKY,
That's the beauty of an anonymous blog. You only have to share what you want or what feels good to you.

A well written and mature goodbye from GG. Time to move forward.

Claire said...

Im sorry to hear you've split but it sounds like it was for the best for both of her. You obviously couldnt be what she needed you to be and you didnt live up to her expectations. You both deserve someone who can love you wholeheartedly, not someone who could almost love the other because that would be comprimise and if there is one area I dont believe in comprimising, its love - especially when you value your independence so much. Good luck x.

Networkchic said...

Sometimes I think those 'almost' loves hurt worse than the 'in' loves. I think you were able to open up a part of yourself that was locked away before. Maybe now, the right person will come along and unlock the rest of you.