Bollocks to this

Right, just before I post for the day, a quick glimpse at some of the Google searches that have landed people at my doorstep. As always, if I wasn’t doubting my own sanity before, I certainly am now.

• how to become an emotionally stronger person
• husband doesn't notice me
• help my daughter was in an abusive relationship and it won't go away
• how do i kill myself the easiest way
• great arse
• on the tube had sex
• doesn't like dick
• in 1960 what happened to kill the clean water
• tenerife sex
• barcelona sex photos
• kill you
• apologise for being rude spiritual
• contemplate the unimaginable vastness of the universe
• don't date this person

And, without doubt my favourite…

• sher see my cock (something you want to tell us, Sher?)

So, where was I? Oh yes, GG… well, it’s the strangest thing. Those of you who were reading my early posts about GG will know that – almost from day one – things were far from perfect. The main issues arose as a consequence of her approach to sex, and whilst it provided me with an opportunity to demonstrate staying power of legendary proportions the fact remains that it would probably be accurate to say that we weren’t 100% compatible in a sexual sense.

Now, none of this had “gone away”, even though the sex itself had become more… I don’t know, manageable. (And, to be fair, I’d stopped posting quite as much about it, which I guess must mean that it had be come less of an issue.) But I will admit that, when GG sprung her surprise on me the other day, part of me felt almost relief that it had happened. No, I wouldn’t have chosen to end things myself, but having had the situation forced on me I decided to try to think positively about it. And – frankly – another part of me kind of wanted to be single again. I won’t expand on that right now, but maybe I will another time.

So, at the same time that I was becoming completely comfortable with the notion that I was on my own again, GG seemed to go through some kind of psychotic episode. For the last few days, and despite pleas for it to stop. I’ve received on average the following (remember, this is an average - some days were worse than others!):

• 7 emails
• 3 messages on home telephone answering service
• 8 text messages

Now, I have to tell you that this constant, unrelenting emotional assault is having a very singular effect, and I doubt that I need to explain to you what that is. And – if that wasn’t bad enough –one of the emails I received today was two and a half pages long, and was a copy of an email she had received from her last boyfriend. Actually received today, I might add… as if I want to read the bloody thing. I quote, just to give you a flavour… “I felt things with you I have never felt before and doubt I will ever feel again… My heart breaks when I think of your wisdom and courage in the face of my madness. I am humbled by the memory of you… My heart is undiminished, I still love you…”

Okay… now, I had been asking for just a little leeway whilst I get through a really busy week, and was going to suggest that we get together for a drink and a talk some time over the course of next week. But you know what? Fuck that! I’ve got no room in my life – particularly now – for someone so emotionally unbalanced that she clearly has no idea whatsoever how unacceptable and frankly bizarre her behaviour has become.

Now, I really don’t mean to sound harsh, but consider this… I have two young children to look after and nurture; I have no regular income as of 1st January next year; and I have a new business that I have to build, failing which who I may or may not be going out with will be the least of my problems. Oh, and I forgot - she finished with me!!

So, I think it's fair to assume that it's over. Now… where did I put that ice bucket?