Monday, November 14, 2005

The head-shaving incident

I’ve been asked about the head-shaving incident whilst on holiday last summer (NYM’s not exactly backward at coming forward), and I guess I may as well explain what happened, and why. It’s a little embarrassing, which is why I‘ve only made passing reference to it to date. It concerns two rather lovely Scottish sisters, who we met in Tenerife the summer before last and hooked up with again this year – I think they took pity on me first time around, as I was the only single Dad in the hotel (that's it in the photo), so they took me under their respective wings and proceeded to get completely pissed with me every night. Oh, and we also sunbathed together, went shopping together, ate together and went out sightseeing together. We didn’t fuck together, although this year we were a hair’s breadth from doing so (well, only one of the sisters was involved) but in the end we both thought better of it. Mind you, the sexual tension spiced things up a bit, and made it fortunate indeed that Speedos are no longer acceptable attire around the pool!

Anyway, after a few days of arriving there this year, I was lying on the bed one hot afternoon, trying desperately to get over a raging hangover from our drunken escapades the night before. My eight year old daughter, “O”, came up to the room to have a nap with me, and started stroking my hair as she likes to do (and as I love her to do). Suddenly she shrieked “Eeuuw, Dad!!” and jumped off the bed, which lead to much flapping around on my part as I thought I had some kind of equatorial insect caught in my hair. However, it transpired that a patch of hair on the side of my head had just… well, disappeared. And it had happened in the space of a week, because I’d had my hair cut quite short the day before I left, and a panic call to Russell (hairdresser) had quickly confirmed that all had been fine at the time.

To cut a long story short (nice pun, eh?) we had many an alcohol-fuelled debate on the subject (me and the sisters, that is) and discussed the merits or otherwise of a complete head-shave. One day/night – they were blurring into one by this time – the lot came off, leaving me with a dark brown face, a completely white head, and a mid-brown patch on one side. Attractive? I don’t fucking think so! And it was worst of all in the restaurant in the evenings... it felt like every single eye was focused on my head every time I got up from the table to go to the buffet, or walked to the door after eating. The sisters, of course, thought it was completely hysterical, and took lots (and lots) of pictures. With and without bandanas, caps, and sunburn.

From that moment on, they called me Patch, and in fact still do (they had been calling me Zippo because I was so protective over my cigarette lighter, but that’s another story). The good news is that all of my hair grew back… apparently it was stress-related although I wasn’t under any stress at the time, so that’s a bit weird. And that’s how I met and befriended the Scottish sisters, the subject of my previous post. I’m seeing them over Christmas, all being well, and the various kids can hook up together again whilst the adults behave like… well, kids.

I feel much better for that. Thanks, NYM… Oh, and I should add that our debauchery was limited to late at night and the early hours of the morning... we all had children with us, so had to maintain a modicum of normality during daylight hours. I think it was just as well, because we'd barely have survived otherwise.

23 comments:

TJ said...

well, who among us hasn't found themselves in exactly the same type of situation--on vacation with lowered inhibitions, our judgment clouded after days and nights of reckless innebriation, and our free will susceptible to the devious suggestions of a pair of Scottish sisters...??

I can only hope one day you have the humility to post one of those photos for a retrospective HNT pic.

check said...

this one's a funny story.. must've been a tad tragic to go through but definitely funny to read!! and cool template..once again.

check said...

this one's a funny story.. must've been a tad tragic to go through but definitely funny to read!! and cool template..once again.

check said...

oops! posted it twice...sorry..and just wanted to add- "email the man himself"- totally rocks!

Annalis said...

Hair loss from stress? Damn, I guess I better start shopping for that wig now. Thanks for sharing your story.

sirreene said...

I loved having a shaved head.

NML said...

I know of quite a few people who have lost their hair via stress. It can be subconscious stuff too. Funny story though!

WDKY said...

TJ... errmm, yes, retrospective HNT indeed. Glad you understand the pressure I was under, though.

Check - thanks. or should I say, thanks thanks. Oh, and thanks again :-)

Annalis, you don't know the joy I felt when it grew back. Honestly.

Sirreene, I loved it when it was about a number 2. Post a photo of your hair, I dare you...

NML - me too. Quite a few have found that it never returned, so I should consider myself lucky!

Blueprincesa said...

That kind of reminds me of the time my friend Nicole, while drunk tried to shave a lightning strike into my friend Tim's head with a bic razor. Not pretty.

zooz said...

I'm glad it's back. I could never quite cope with bandana look. A nice, Tottenham-supporting boy from North London wearing a bandana .........nah

Caterpillar said...

Speedos are no longer allowed? That's so terrible!!! Not that I'd like to see a big old man in one, but seeing you in one is a completely different story!

WDKY said...

Blue, I se the thought process, really...

Zooz - you left out... err, never mind :-)

Cat, it's true = no more speedos, although I have some really nice shorts so I don't mind.

Blither said...

How hilarious is that.
Oh wait! I mean.. I'm so sorry for your poor sunburnt scalp.

*Stifles a Giggle*

WDKY said...

Don't worry, Blither, I'm laughing with you. I'm not sure it was so funny at the time though...

k said...

Hmmm... I don't know if I've posted about my (mis)adventures involving razors & shaving cream. I can't recall... I can, however state with complete certainty that I know how to operate a razor under the influence of massive cocktails. The only problem with said operation though is knowing when to stop... shaving that is... not drinking...

I'm sure the people were not staring at you directly... the glow from the whiteness of your head would have been blinding I would guess... isn't it nice that it grows back though?

NewYorkMoments said...

Oh my God...I'm so grossed out everytime I see or hear the word "speedo." A few years ago my parents took my sister & I to Hawaii and my dad wore one to the pool everyday! EEEK! I'm still emotionally damaged from it.

Sheesh...Men are so vain. You could have worn a turban.

WDKY said...

Kel - yes, I'm sure you're right about the whole glowing head thing (ahem). I want to hear more about drunken shaving because I have a suspicion...

NYM - ROFL! There was one pair of Speedos around the pool this year. Every time the guy walked past us I burst out laughing (he was just bursting out) but the Scottish sisters loved it!!

E-E said...

lol...
1) I love the whole concept of Scottish sisters
2) I love the part about the eeeeeew! dad! How adorable!
(cuz no matter what I bet you could be being bald and still be dashing!)
3) glowing head??
4) "I was lying on the bed one hot afternoon..."
damn, don't get me started4)
5) ditto
6) ditto
7) ...

k o w said...

This post needs one of those many photos.

Excellent.

Networkchic said...

I agree with k o w, we need photos. I'm still thinking about you in sun bathing. Mmmmmm, nice.

WDKY said...

Emerald, I'm glad to be of service :-)

KOW - are you trying to start trouble for me??

NWC, keep focused - I like it! Not sure about the photos though...(See what I mean, KOW?)

awaterpixie said...

LOL... Patch... awww.. that's cute.

Sounds like you had a fabulous time. Great story and I'm glad to see it all grew back instead of developing into a 'condition' in which we would actually have to call you PATCHES instead of just PATCH.

::smooches::
Mara

WDKY said...

Mara, we had the best time... I love them both! But I was pretty happy when it grew back - all my friends were very impressed that I just laughed at it, but inside I was actually quite upset.