Sunday, November 27, 2005

Random thoughts 11

Today, I’m very tired. Now, you might think that it’s the stress brought about by changing the URL of this blog (ROFL) but actually it's because I barely got any sleep last night. And I barely got any sleep last night because of a stream of texts and telephone calls that woke me up, every time I was dozing off, with my heart banging. Know that feeling? Anyway, I turned off all my phones (mobile and land line) at about 2am and slept a little before getting up with the intention of getting quite a few things done today. Unfortunately I haven’t been as motivated as I would have liked. Oh well, it’s Sunday, so what the fuck… but I am going to have to put a stop to this nonsense once and for all, which is a shame. I wanted things to end with a degree of dignity, but stalking isn’t a particularly dignified process.

I spoke to Zooz earlier today, and as some of you may know she’s decided to give up on blogging as she doesn’t really feel motivated enough to keep posting regularly. This is something of a shame, because she’s an interesting and intelligent woman. Much more importantly than any of that, though, she has one or two good looking friends, and a particularly cute one was at the fireworks party I went to at her house about three weeks ago. Now, I did speak to this girl briefly that night, but didn’t really try to make any kind of impression… ironically, Zooz asked me tonight if there had been anyone at the party who I found attractive with the specific intention of getting the two of us together, and I must admit I kind of like the idea. I’ve suggested a dinner party, and the matter is now apparently in hand.

This little piece of (good) news is very welcome, because aside from the GG-related stress this whole work situation is beginning to weigh slightly heavily now. The money to set everything up properly is coming out of my settlement and it’s steadily creeping over the budget that I set myself. At the same time, the agreement itself is still unsigned, as my lawyer found a few things he wasn’t happy with and seems to want a fight when all I want is a signature. Sometimes, I wonder if I’m out of my mind, and then I think about all the things about living in the corporate world that I hate… the politics, the meetings, the meetings about meetings, the “uniform”, the missed school plays and football matches, the lack of freedom, the need to conform… and then I think about the alternative. And I know I’m doing the right thing, scary or not.

27 comments:

K.D. Morgan said...

Don't worry about being crazy - just follow your gut and have everything you want.

Blondie said...

Sorry about you getting so much...hmm unwanted attention again from GG. Talk about a great way to ruin memories. ugh. I do hope she stops.
Zoozan has a writing style that is very animated. I'm crossing my fingers that she'll still post on occasion.
God, I love set ups! As much as I complain about my failed marriage, my best friend met her hubby at my wedding. They were both 2 of my closest friends and for them to meet, then date...it was great!
About work, ah... I'm hoping the best for you. There isn't anything thats not 100% cliche to say. You're not crazy! Well, maybe you are but welcome to my world. lol

xx

Zoozan said...

Change is scary but as you say - staying for another what? 2 years, 5 years, 10 years with the company you're with is a much, much scarier prospect.

thank you for your nice sentiments.

I haven't had a response to my e-mail yet to your possible future dinner party companion. I'm going to talk her mother first and just see the lay of the land. She was free a month ago but I don't know what the lay of the land is now.

Bloody hell, dinner party. I haven't had one of those for ages. Sounds dated somehow.

NML said...

Not crazy at all but I know about the rollercoaster of feelings that you're going through but the opposite way around. It is a shame about Zoozan but if you get to pull then your quids in ;-) I'm appalled at GG being a frickin stalker. WTF?! You want me to sort her out? I'm good at choice words ;-) Seriously though, that is completely out of order and I'm sorry that it has degenerated to this.

WDKY said...

KD, it's too late to worry anyway. I've always been a bit mad and it's nor done me any harm so far. (Hang on, yes it has...)

Ruthie, thanks for all those thoughts :-)

What? You're going to speak to her mother? You don't know the lay of the land??? Grrrr....

NML, I know you know, and thanks for the offer of a good sorting. Errr... hold on, I didn't mean it to come out like that...

K.D. Morgan said...

btw...love the new look!

Blondie said...

Wow, I really like the new layout!

Ah, I'm sorry for being so chatty. So much is written I feel like a total tool if I just write "good post".

*sigh*

Either way, very attractive layout.

WDKY said...

Thanks, Ruthie, and why on earth apologise? I appreciate the way you comment on here!

WDKY said...

KD... how could I forget to thank you? Of all people...

NewYorkMoments said...

You're definitely doing the right thing as far as the work situation. It's going to be scary, but anything worth doing is frightening. And you should really be proud that you're the kind of person who takes risks in order to provide a better quality of life for himself and his family.

Yikes about the GG situation.

nukie310 said...

Listen, I have some connections that normally work on this side of the pond, but in your case, I'll pull some strings....Forget dignity, We could put a quick stop to the text messages.

P.s. Nice Digs!

WDKY said...

You're very kind, NYM. And yikes indeed!

Nukie - would those connections be, errr... Italian?

Zoozan said...

Oi, don't you 'grrrr' at me. :-)

I haven't spoken to any of them since bonfire night. She might have met the man of her dreams in the intervening weeks.

Just a casual enquiry to mum - you know - has sister no 1 had the baby, how is sister no 2?

E-E said...

wow... never thought GG would be so psycho. Forget about what I said about leaving the door ajar. That was meant in terms of trying to stay friends, etc.
This girl (how OLD is she anyway) has definite issues and neds to have the door locked tight on her at this point.
What nym said: YIKES.
Take care, good luck.

unforgiving b*tch said...

You're definitely not crazy at all...if you were, I'd have to begin to question my own sanity.

Sorry about the GG situation...I never would have imagined with her ending things that she'd have such a hard time letting go, but maybe she just wasn't expecting you to let go as easily as you did either.

WDKY said...

Thanks for those comments guys... a bit frantic today so this is a collective response.

Networkchic said...

All those texts are from GG? My goodness...she should have just left it at the letter.

You are doing the right thing...the hard things are always the right things.

sirreene said...

A new day a new beginning a new site a fresh start. Best wishes!

Blueprincesa said...

Looking good, WDKY. I'm glad to hear that you're back in the game, if a little tuckered out at the moment. It's not easy going it alone. You're very brave.

fjl said...

The lawyer wanted a fight and all you wanted to do was get on with it.....:0) they don't change much from one day to another do they? When are that profession going to realise they are a stuck record.....?
Speaking fo stuck records, everybody hurts, but GG is overdoing it now. My Italian lover did that to me after this summer and I had to change my number! Ringing me up 'Oh baby...' what a turn off. I recommend: both of you go to a little cafe, where you spell out slowly and carefully that it's over, that you care about her as a mate and you hope she has a great future. Be sweet. Say you're sorry she's in pain but it's O.V.E.R. Give her time to cry etc.
If she pesters you beyond that, she gets a letter from a brief telling her to cut it out. But don't be harsh before you've spoken to her, as that'll provoke, and you don't want her being daft.
I agree with all the doubts and fears about the corporate world. Stick to your beliefs, or you'll lose/hate yourself.

J's Girlfriend said...

My fullest sympathy. My ex (the one with the birthday) was the same; amazing how desperation can cement your belief that you were sooo right in breaking up with someone.

Well, at least if you're single you don't have to struggle with potential in-laws...

And yes, nice new template! DYI?

Annalis said...

Nice new look, WDKY.

Keep reminding yourself that change is good.

WDKY said...

Sirreene, indeed it is. Many thanks.

Blue - brave? Well, maybe, but time will tell whether it was a good decision.

FJL - you're a very sensible woman, if you don't mind me saying. Funny you should say what you did - I'll post an update later this evening.

J's G - no inlaws... never thought about that! The template is actually a Typepad design... I like it, though.

Anna, I love change, actually. It's just that I sometimes have to remind myself of that fact!

Caterpillar said...

Hey sexy,

I think you're wonderful for taking the risk with the job - it's what so many people would love to do but they lack the cajones. And it will pay off, especially since you'll have the freedom to be there completely for your children!

J's Girlfriend said...

I really like the 'home and next' link at the top of the page. Do you know where I could nab the code from?

WDKY said...

J's G - email me.

NML said...

Ooh you saucy things! 'Sorting'!