Today, I’m very tired. Now, you might think that it’s the stress brought about by changing the URL of this blog (ROFL) but actually it's because I barely got any sleep last night. And I barely got any sleep last night because of a stream of texts and telephone calls that woke me up, every time I was dozing off, with my heart banging. Know that feeling? Anyway, I turned off all my phones (mobile and land line) at about 2am and slept a little before getting up with the intention of getting quite a few things done today. Unfortunately I haven’t been as motivated as I would have liked. Oh well, it’s Sunday, so what the fuck… but I am going to have to put a stop to this nonsense once and for all, which is a shame. I wanted things to end with a degree of dignity, but stalking isn’t a particularly dignified process.
I spoke to Zooz earlier today, and as some of you may know she’s decided to give up on blogging as she doesn’t really feel motivated enough to keep posting regularly. This is something of a shame, because she’s an interesting and intelligent woman. Much more importantly than any of that, though, she has one or two good looking friends, and a particularly cute one was at the fireworks party I went to at her house about three weeks ago. Now, I did speak to this girl briefly that night, but didn’t really try to make any kind of impression… ironically, Zooz asked me tonight if there had been anyone at the party who I found attractive with the specific intention of getting the two of us together, and I must admit I kind of like the idea. I’ve suggested a dinner party, and the matter is now apparently in hand.
This little piece of (good) news is very welcome, because aside from the GG-related stress this whole work situation is beginning to weigh slightly heavily now. The money to set everything up properly is coming out of my settlement and it’s steadily creeping over the budget that I set myself. At the same time, the agreement itself is still unsigned, as my lawyer found a few things he wasn’t happy with and seems to want a fight when all I want is a signature. Sometimes, I wonder if I’m out of my mind, and then I think about all the things about living in the corporate world that I hate… the politics, the meetings, the meetings about meetings, the “uniform”, the missed school plays and football matches, the lack of freedom, the need to conform… and then I think about the alternative. And I know I’m doing the right thing, scary or not.