Saturday, October 29, 2005

A day for thinking

Today was a historic one in the small but perfectly formed world of WDKY, because at around 10.30am, laughably still BST, I bought a company – my first one, ever. It cost me all of £150, and of 100 shares just one has been issued. To me. Oh, and it’s currently worth… well, nothing. Later, my accountant called me and asked me what I expected my turnover to be in year one. I thought of a number I liked, added a bit more, and told him.

This evening, I dropped my daughter off at a Halloween sleepover, and her friend's father (who I don’t know very well, but he's going to give me some saxophone lessons after the New Year) was chatting to me at the door. “What do you do, WDKY?” he asked at one point. Of course, he didn’t call me WDKY, but you get the gist. “Errr, I’m just setting up a small management consultancy. We start trading on 1st January” I replied, with just the “errr” for hesitation. Fuck me, it’s really happening.

Oh yes, in between these two events, Dick emailed me (I was working from home today) to ask me what rate I was going to charge him for consultancy in January. I used the earlier tactic (thought of a number I liked, added a bit more, and told him) but I did offer him a discount. All in all, I think it was a good day...

I wanted to just say a word or two about my earlier post. The situation with GG is one that I’m going to think about a bit before I do anything drastic, or final. I said before that we do have a connection, and there’s lots that’s really special about her. I emailed her earlier this evening, and I said something about the week that seems to have been lost with everything going on for both of us, just a sentence or two. This was her reply, in her faltering but kind of endearing English …
"Once upon a time, there was a little girl…and she had these two boxes, one made of the most shiny glass, another one made of an exquisite black velvet…In the first one she would pile all the beautiful hours, up to the seconds, and as she would put the lid on, they would glow through the glass and she would never be tired of looking at them…in the black one she would hide the other hours and the days she didn’t like, the ones who had made her cry,….and one day she decided she would open that box and see what happened, would those hours come back again?

And the most amazing thing happen, all those dark weeks, days, moments, still intertwined with dry tears and meaningless words, just free themselves from the box and flew up to the sky, with the wind, higher and higher towards the sun. And, when they reached the sun they just melted with it, in it, and became incandescent and iridescent…and when it rains, now and again, and the drops fall on your face, you might swallow one tiny drop and a taste of salt will invade your mouth…now and again…"
Maybe you see why this isn’t easy. I post my thoughts on here because it can help to bring things into focus a little bit, and I’ll get there in the end. But I’ve made enough mistakes in my life to be getting on with. I just want to be sure first.

Have a very happy Halloween, everyone.

15 comments:

kimmyk said...

ok then..well....i'm not sure what you sent her regarding your email, but i will say this.....

that's alot of mumbo jumbo.
now i like Miss GG..I think she sounds precious, BUT...if you're trying to talk to her about something important and she always comes back with these sorts of emails that make ya think "she's fragile" "she's soft" you are never going to get to the bottom of whatever is eating at your stomach.
I say remove the wine, remove the joints, remove everything that gets you in that place where you find yourself every weekend-naked, and go from there...and really talk. Of course, be mindful of her feelings, but you gotta say it outloud (when you get it figure out of course) otherwise, you are going to have one hurt woman and you will be left confused if ya did the right thing, and saddened that you might have hurt someone. Better to get it out there now while it's still fresh than to let it smolder and turn into something that's just out of control.
Or so that's my thoughts on this one.

WDKY said...

Well, Kimmy, you're not wrong. What I was trying to say, in a roundabout way, is that she has a poetic soul. I like that about her, but yes - it's clouding the issue.

Oh well, no-one ever promised an easy ride...

Claire said...

You know what I think? I've never met a man before who thinks about things as much as you - and that can only be a good thing!!

kimmyk said...

no shit about an easy ride.
relationships are rollercoasters aren't they?
i just wish ya happiness and peace that's all.
i hate to see people struggling with relationships....hate that.

WDKY said...

Well, thanks Claire. I'm just thinking about Spurs v Arsenal at the moment, as that's where I'll be today :-)

Kimmy, you're just a sweetheart.

ladylongfellow said...

You'll figure it out...WDKY. At least you aren't head over heels and blind to GG, to be rudely awakened at a later point, right? Everyone has faults, everyone can be clouded, can't they? Guess you need to decide if what you both do have ...is enough.

toupacz said...

Good luck in your new endeavors,selfemployment is so much nicer than working for someone.As for your personal life,I'll let those who now you better advise you there

WDKY said...

LL, go to bed! But yes, that's about it, isn't it?

Hi toupacz, and thanks for the godd luck wishes. As for advice... well, I appreciate and welcome all the comments left here, but always make my own decisions in the end. This is just a difficult one.

NewYorkMoments said...

Congrats on the new company!

Wow, GG is very poetic, and I think she's more than a bit stuck on you. I agree with Kimmy...switch things up a bit next time you see her, and then see what happens. Any chance of spending time where she lives?

WDKY said...

Thanks nym. Actually, I've said I want to go out in the West End tonight, and I'm going to call her soon and tell her that I'm going to be working tomorrow morning so staying over at mine is pointless. I may stay at her place, but she lives in central London and so has quite a small apartment, which she shares with a flatmate. Still, I think changing the pattern, and taking the focus of sex, might just be a good thing to do.

k o w said...

Happy Halloween to you sir.

As for the GG sometimes perfection needs some work. Put on your gloves and get started as the final product is something I believe to be well worth it.

k o w said...

Might I add that you can never think about something too much.

WDKY said...

Absolutely, kow, nicely put. I suppose that's three pints...

NML said...

Congratulations! Sorry i'm so late...{flutters eyelashes} It must be so cool to say that to people. I hope to be doing the same thing in the next few months. That's lovely what GG wrote and she clearly likes you, however whatever your ultimate decision is, it's about how much you like her.

WDKY said...

Thanks NML :-)