Where's my Zen?

So many things on my mind at the moment. I don’t know if I’m going to write them all down… let’s see where this one goes.

The easy bit’s The Meeting. Dick and the HR Director were waiting for me this afternoon when I walked in the boardroom, and they had obviously been planning their approach. The approach, it turned out, was an offer of three months pay, two of which I was to work from 1^st November until the end of the year. Wankers!! I raised them masterfully with nine months from 1^st January plus full pay until the end of this year, which I’d work, and they looked at me with their poker faces as if I wouldn’t know what they were thinking. It’s all a game, of course. But I’ve met much better players… Dick’s just a dick, and was well out of his depth on this occasion, which was no surprise.

We jockeyed a bit for position and then I decided I was going to have to play hardball, which seemed to work. Because after I made it clear that I was less than impressed, and then told them that it might be easier to deal through my lawyer (followed by a grin at Dick), we finally agreed on six months lump sum payable in January, which was just what I wanted. Oh, and then for a laugh I told them I also wanted to keep the colour printer they set me up with at home, and they agreed to that too. And it looks like I also have a few grand’s worth of work between January and April from them, which is… helpful. Very helpful – I can eat!

So… did I say that was the easy bit? I think my intention was to talk about GG. Me and GG, that is, because there’s something nagging at the back of my mind. Actually, that’s not true… it was nagging before last weekend, but now its more of a clamour. I’m going to have to resolve it in my mind before I write about it, I think, but it involves… well, kissing. And kissing’s one of the most important things (when you’re a man who loves kissing). More on that another time, but all’s not well and I wouldn’t go making any assumptions just because I got a haircut and a blow job on Sunday.

Anyway, I was just on the phone to Mum earlier this evening. She’s been living on her own since dad died about six years ago. What an amazing woman… so self-sufficient now, but when they were together Dad did everything, and I mean everything, for her. I never thought she’d be able to cope on her own, and I certainly didn’t think she’d be such a revelation, even though she still cries most days. I wanted to tell her how proud I am of her, for some reason. Maybe because I couldn't remember if I'd told her before… If I hadn't, I should have done. Anyway, now I've made sure that she knows.

We were chatting about my younger brother. The one who doesn’t read this blog, but even so, I’m not going to talk about him on here. Well, save to say “Grow up, for fuck sake.” We share a birthday, but couldn’t be less alike if we were from different planets. Such a strange thing…

I think I’ll stop now, because it’s been a long day and my empty bed is calling me. Maybe a late night movie, and then a nice run before breakfast when I get up. Got to keep in shape for HNT…

Edit: I will clarify the whole kissing thing, but I only allow myself to post once per day or it'll become too distracting (yeah... like it's not already). The next one's HNT so it's kissing on Friday!