Saturday, November 05, 2005

Communication

Do you know, it must be one of the greatest paradoxes… technology has done more for communication than, even a decade or two ago, anybody could have possibly dreamed about. We take for granted what, to our parents’ generation, would have sounded like science fiction. And yet, at the same time, technology is killing our ability to make ourselves understood. The very thing it’s making easier, at the same time it’s making so completely inefficient that it’s almost better to remain in splendid isolation.

I mentioned in a previous post that I had to cancel Friday night as I was working late. Actually, I didn’t get home until gone 9 o’clock, and by the time the kids were in bed it was gone 10.30… I sat down on the sofa meaning to call GG and apologise properly, and next thing I knew it was the early hours of the morning. I hate it when that happens, because its so hard to drag yourself up to bed, and sleeping on the sofa never feels quite the same in the morning. The sleep’s never quite as deep.

Anyway, GG texted me early this morning, and I thought it was clear from the “tone” that she was annoyed. I texted her back, and was kind of steeling myself for an argument. Sure enough, the phone rang minutes later. But you know what? She was absolutely cool… not only cool, but we must have spoken for more than an hour and a half, and didn’t really want to stop even then.

This is why I can hate my fucking mobile! I love it too, of course, but I hate the way it’s so hard to tell what people actually mean when they text. Not always, but seemingly every time it really matters. I know people who dump their partners by text – think about it… have you done that? I’ve done it by email, which is no better, if the truth be told. What’s happened to talking? That’s communication, isn't it?!

We had a great night, by the way, thanks to Zooz and her fireworks party. The sky over Alexandra Palace was awash with colour, and the smell and the sound just transported me back to when I was a child, watching Dad gingerly step up to the rockets planted in the turf behind our house with his lighted taper. We had to stay behind the French doors and we thought he was so brave, exposing himself to danger so that we could have our thrills for the night.

Oh, and I came clean about my blog to one or two people I know, so now they’ll look at me strangely when we meet. We'll be talking about the lack of summer or otherwise in that quintessentially English way, whilst they'll probably be thinking about the way GG makes me cum in her mouth whilst staring into my eyes. But do I care?

27 comments:

finally forgiving said...

I honestly don't think you care at all what other people think about your blog, but I could be wrong. I have been before.

WDKY said...

No, you're not wrong :-)

I don't care about much that other people think, actually. I'm so bad...

Kate B. said...

wdky - I think that you rather enjoy the paradox. :-) And as for technology, I find it incredibly useful, plus it creates all kinds of opportunities for personal interaction that one would otherwise not experience. But yes, texting is a major pain in the butt - it's the conversational equivalent of fast food.

kimmyk said...

I hate text messaging....just call me and tell me.....

these people that know now-i'll assume they know you well enough or else ya wouldn't want them to read it. maybe they were too tipsy and wont remember....

my family and some friends read my blog-i dont care, but then again....i dont have anyone cumming in my mouth-or so not that i write about it.

does GG know that's the question...and does she read it?

Anonymous said...

Ah, Kimmy that last question was mine too. I would have to be sure that whatever I wrote on a blog could be seen by anyone and they would be happy with it.

Victoria Alt said...

On communication: I am not a fan of all this technology. Hell, I am still one of those hold-outs without call display, call holding or even an answering machine. No cell phone for me either. I much prefer one-on-one communication but it's getting harder to find.

On your blog: I like that you do not care. I don't either. I write for myself; my thoughts, feelings and rantings in general.

Networkchic said...

Since I career wise I am a techie, I should say I love technology but, I think most times it hinders our ability to deal with people one on one. Email allows us to stay in touch without much effort, text messages allow us to communicate without taking 10 mins to pick up a phone. Why do we rely on these methods? Because most times we search for the easy way out. It's easier to face someone, when we really don't have to face them. As for those people that have broken a relationship off through email or texting, I suspect that was more about them being a coward than a techie junkie. Sorry...just my opinion.

WDKY said...

Sara - do you? Hmmm...I agree about the experiences wouldn't, errmm, experience though!

Kimmy, no she doesn't, and nor will she :-)

Zooz, we've discussed this before and we have different views about it - this isn't something for others I know, except when I decide I don't mind. It's a decision for anyone who blogs, and you have to respect it. Well, or not, but you know what I mean.

KD, it has occurred to me before that we're on the same wavelength in many respects :-)

Inks, I do understand what you mean. And you're worse than me with your blog redesigns, and that's saying something. LOL (LOL)!

NWC, I accept your criticism fully. I was acting like a coward.

ladylongfellow said...

Sure, what would we do without technology? But there is something to be said about good old fashioned communication. I do so much emailing with work, I dislike emailing friends, etc..unless it's a quick thing. I talk on the phone so much with work, I dislike that too. Strange? Although I must admit to recently becoming an international text whore....and I must admit...I like it! Well, I like him...so...lol.

As for people you know seeing your blog, so what?!

WDKY said...

I agree. Now go to bed!

(And why isn't it me you're internationally text-whoring with?)

NewYorkMoments said...

Texting and e-mailing can be dangerous. Especially when it's an important or heated discussion.

WDKY said...

Bloody right.Not as dangerous as having sex in New York though, by all accounts...

NewYorkMoments said...

I never said it was in NYC...

WDKY said...

Evidence that "assumption makes an ass out of u & me"!

Anonymous said...

Well I do think we should embrace new technology but I see your point. It definitely has its downfalls. I've had a few misunderstandings on the internet because the tone isnt there and it does kind of seperate us from society to a degree but I do think there is room for new technology, its what we do with it that matters.

Networkchic said...

Oh I wasn't criticizing you. I think if you were a coward, you would never had admitted that you broke it off with someone that way. Actually WDKY, you are one of the strongest 'bloggers' I know.

WDKY said...

Claire - yes, it is what we do with it that's important. The tone thing is a problem that's not going to go away though, so I suppose the answer is to use the "right" form of cummunication in the first place.

NWC, thank you. That was much appreciated, although at the time I was taking the easy way out. Lesson learnt though!

NewYorkMoments said...

Nah...you're not an ass! I was thinking more of London as the location...You know how those hotheaded cockney gangster bosses can get...

WDKY said...

You're too sweet, nym.. but yes, Lonson gangsters are just the best! Did you ever see the movie The Krays?

Annalis said...

Call me a coward, but sometimes sending an email to someone I don't want to speak with face to face can be very satisfying.

WDKY said...

Anna, I'm sure there are times when it's entirely appeopriate ;-)

... j said...

Hey, nothing wrong woth a text breakup, its just an even more stress free way of doing it, and it sure beats ignoring them.

Anwyays, did you know that only somethign like 10% of human communication is verbal, and the rest body language, now with tech coming into play, it will undoubtedly reshape that we as a species function, I should like to see the tyeat 2222, but alas, I will in all likelyhood be worm fodder by then.

Cheers,

- el

Juggling Mother said...

We'll get it into perspective in time - it's just that texting is still new so a) is used in the wrong circumstances and b) is disliked by some people on principle.

I found it quite ironic that you consider texting to be non-personal, but phoning to be personal. If we'd had this conversation 50 years ago, I feel you may have been against breaking up on the phone, thinking it was more personal to write a proper letter, and a hundred years ago, mail was the new fangled technology that would have been inpersonal.

i hate the phone - it's rude. it's like standing next to someone shouting TALK TO ME ME ME NOW NOW NOW regardless of what they are doing. texting, email ect is afr more polite, giving you the chance to read it in your own time & formulate a reply.

having said that, IMHO relationships should be started & finished when in the physical presence of the other person.

WDKY said...

Hey, Mrs A - was that a virgin comment? (Note, I didn't say a vrgin's comment)

Emma, nothing you said came as a surprise. In fact, I'd have been disappointed had you said anything different.

NML/Natalie said...

Jaysus, what an ending to that post. I'm totally in agreement about the technology. It confuses tone. Glad you had a fab weekend and I hope everything went well at work :-)

WDKY said...

You don't need me to answer that, Emma.

And I often wonder how many people who consider themselves to be "selfless lovers" actually bother to think obout their motives for a minute.

WDKY said...

So far so good, thanks, nml... did I shock you though??