Well, I think I’ve just about got used to the fact that I actually broadcast my voice. I knew that if I agreed to record a post for Nukie I’d probably end up doing a podcast too, but even as I sat in my kitchen, cigarette in hand and cat at my feet, I couldn’t make up my mind if I was going to post it or not.
Anonymity is something we all seem to want to hide behind on here. Words – text on the screen – don’t seem to threaten that anonymity for some reason. Maybe it’s because it’s less personal, even if it can be our deepest thoughts… a bit like the fact that it feels okay to show parts of your body like pieces of a jigsaw, but its not okay to put the lot together in a single photograph. Anyway, the feeling of vulnerability was… strange. But it’s done, and I’m grateful that the comments were so positive. I’m not sure if I’ll do the poetry thing again, but who knows.
GG’s away again at the moment, visiting her family in Spain. I could have made some plans for the weekend, but I’m feeling quite introspective at the moment and I’m not entirely sure why. Whatever, I’ll have the children until Saturday afternoon, and then I’ll just chill until Sunday evening when they’re back again (they’re with me half of each week, so the time on my own is something I enjoy, and value). It’s when I feel in this kind of mood that I wonder what kind of relationship I really want… it seems to be a question without an answer. Maybe it’s because I really haven’t met the right woman just yet. Or maybe I have… if anyone can work it out, drop me a line. Please.
Have a nice weekend, everyone.
12 comments:
you sound sad
Introspection is good, just don't get lost in it *smiles*.
The whole relationship issue is trickier. I know exactly what I want but it doesn't seem to make it easier.
Enjoy your weekend.
WDKY,
I don't have any sage advice on this issue. When I let my heart lead me, I got a hell of high price to pay to get it back all bashed and bruised. When I think with my brain...I get stuck. Introspectiveness is a place I can't tread too often. I like to mull around in "what do I need, what do I want...or what is the reality".
I just know that you're a kind soul, a good father and heck, you're cute to boot.
RE: anonymity, I show my picture like any idiot would do...but my voice is something I'm not too sure on. I don't know. Funny how I'll drop my pants for the world but weird out about my voice? Or a non altered photo of me... I've done it once...aside from my profile...and well, I don't know. I just pray my mother never reads it and sees my half nekkid! ;-)
I would surely dig a hole and crawl into it.
((hugs))
voices often tell us much more about someone than words or a picture because somehow our true natures (and true feelings) seem to be carried in our spoken words.
I remember, a while back wdky, when you told me (on the phone)your side of a nasty little story that was going round. I knew without any shadow of doubt that you were telling the real version and exactly how it had all made you feel because you, perhaps more than most, reveal yourself with your voice. So I can understand where you're coming from in wanting to retain some privacy there.
but hey, we all loved it and perhaps HNT should always include a profound and sensual poem to go with it.
kt... sad? Well, I'm not sure. I think too much sometimes, though.
KD - thanks, and I'll try not to. Enjoy yours too.
Blondie, that was nice of you... all three would be good if they were true, but I'm prepared to believe you today! Actually, my Mum would love my blog - she regards my life as a rather addictive soap opera!
Zooz... yes, I remember the conversation. Thanks for the invitation, by the way, I'll have a think today and give you a buzz.
Can we ever truly fing the "right" person? Seriously, we as humans have a hard enough time being completely at peace with ourselves, how are we expected to be fully comfortable with someone else?
The use of voice doesn't bother me one bit. You know my stance on being anonymous but as time has gone by and more readers have stopped by I find myself loosening up on that issue. As someone who has done broadcasting in the past I belive the voice can deliver a far greater impact on the audience than just the written word and we should use that to our advantage.
Good point, kow... your first one, I mean. As for the voice issue, It's not something that I'm used to (broadcasting, as opposed to having a voice, I mean) but it was an interesting experience. And I intend to preserve my anonimity because I find it quite liberating. If I ever choose not to (for example, I'm thinking of linking a new blog to the company website that's soon going live) it won't be on here.
I really enjoyed your podcast, and think that you did an excellent job both in terms of choosing the material and in delivering the proper tone. Actually I would love the chance to add my voice to some of my posts, because I think it adds a whole new level to hear the piece in the voice of the original author.
As for your current introspection, I believe it was Descartes who said "I blog, therefore I brood", or words to that effect. The other half of the equation to finding the 'right woman' is making sure that you are in the 'right place' in your life yourself. Our perfect match could be right before us, but we might not be in the proper place ourselves to allow that natural connection to begin and eventually flourish.
On second thought, I don't think it was Descartes who said that quote. I'm fairly certain it was in fact Benny Hill...
I think anytime a person is alone they become introspective. Probably because it's quiet and we dont have to be a parent, or whatever. It's good to reflect on what's happening and what you want to happen.
Enjoy your time alone to think and unwind.
I'd open a bottle of wine and put some music on and I'd clean....but that's just me.
I think we often try to define the type of relationship we want before having it but we rarely find one that fits our expectations. I think it works like this, when you are in the right relationship you stop and think, this is the type of relationship I want. It works the same way for the wrong ones.
As for staying hidden behind a cloak of mystery yet letting our words act as windows into our souls, we do that because many times people don't stop to actually listen to what they're reading. The few who do, are the few you don't mind losing the cover for. We tend to be visual beings but it amazes me that with all the info we're given, pics, words, audio, many of us still can't put the pieces together to see the real person.
Thanks, tj, and I'm also a big believer in timing being crucial... in all elements of our lives, not only relationships. Benny Hill was certainly very wise indeed ;-)
Kimmy, I think I'll spend some of it exactly as you would. You know I like to put some music on and clean the place.
NWC - yes, I like how you describe it. I'd certainly come out of cover for you.. in fact I'm sure I have.
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